Im fuming. So super angry.
Well the ward manager just called me to let me know he had spoken to the staff concerned and that he hoped I would feel the matter was resolved.
Not so much, it turns out.
The nurse who laughed at me when I lay crying, who offered no help in changing my ileostomy bag or in showering, who wrote on my chart that I wasn’t in as much pain as I was telling her I was and who withheld pain relief, that one… Yeah, her response is that I only ever asked her for a towel so how should she know I needed help in the shower? No remorse, no realisation that she could have done more – its my fault for not asking.
He says that he told her as a SENIOR staff nurse that she should have been aware that a patient who has had major surgery three days prior should get more support and that she could have done more.
He says he showed her my chart and questioned why she didn’t give me more pain relief. I asked her response he said “Well, nothing really”
He says that she “point blank” denies that she laughed at me.
What. The. Actual. Fuck??
I asked if he was ok with this? That his senior staff nurse had lied on a chart and withheld pain relief. (I didn’t sleep at all that night, I sat up crying in pain, asking for pain relief again and again. I was told I couldn’t have anything else till the dr prescribed it the next day. When asked how much pain I was in 0 = none through to 3 = extreme, I was telling her 3, more than 3!!! Agony!!!! The next morning Timm came in and checked my chart, she had been writing 1s and 2s. In the morning when they changed nurses, the new nurse came in to find me crying in pain, she checked my chart and immediately gave me a higher dose of Oramorph and said the doctors had prescribed me a higher dose than Id been given all night and that I could have been having it every two hours)
He says that the nurse has worked there for years and he knows her personally and he has never had another complaint against her so it is her word against mine. He went on to say that *some* patients when they are on a lot of pain relief can be “confused” – he went on to say that of couuuuurse he wasn’t suggesting that *I* was confused but that it does happen. I told him that two other patients on my ward were so appalled by what they heard and saw from this nurse that they gave me their names and phone numbers and said should I complain that they wanted to be able to say what they witnessed. That one patient told me she was trying to reach her mobile phone so that she could film the nurse laughing at me whilst I lay crying and sobbing. That I had been on the phone with my husband as she was laughing at me… That yes, I may have been tired, stressed, in pain and on painkillers but I was not making this up and I had witnesses.
He says that he has spoken to her and none of it will happen again, so do I feel it is resolved?
Is he crack-a-lacking me??
No, I told him, no. This isn’t resolved as the nurse is showing no remorse and is denying she did anything wrong so how can I believe she won’t do it again? If she thinks she did nothing wrong then who else is she doing it to? I said if that is as far as he can go then I will be making a formal compliant. He asked if I would speak to the matron first. I said I wanted to make a formal complaint as I need to know that she won’t treat others like this.
He said that sometimes complaints are valid and sometimes they aren’t and then went on to tell me that a patient had threatened to complain about him today but it was only because that person had “learning difficulties” – WHAT??? Surely these things should be confidential and he shouldn’t be telling me about other patients?!
So there’s my update, Im sorry if it is badly written but Im so ANGRY at them. That they think it can all be brushed under the carpet.
I WILL be making a formal complaint and will take this forward as far as I have to. I need to do it for peace of mind that next time it isn’t my mum, your nannan or Joe Bloggs’ uncle… That it’s not a frightened old lady or a young person who don’t have my voice.
Thank you for reading
Love Sam xx