Ileostomy, self esteem and Dead Sons...

Last night I got a Facebook message from the lovely Luke Baker from Dead Sons. It was out of the blue and I was a little surprised, but when I read it I cried, then snorted, then laughed, then blushed. A lot. I know Luke, as Timm is involved with Dead Sons but I applaud any man brave enough to email me to tell me Im wrong…

Photo by Timm Cleasby – The Picture Foundry

As I have blogged already, I feel that my confidence and self esteem have taken a knock since I had my surgery, I was saying to another friend recently that I worry my bag defines me at the minute and this message made me remember that it doesn’t. It feels all encompassing right now, but it isn’t me. Its just an attachment.

If I ever needed a bit of a confidence boost, it is now. And the following message made me feel so much better and reminded me of my old self…

“Hey Sam!

I always read your blogs and one thing i noticed is that your more recent ones have been way more positive! Thats ace! I hope you’re well and i hope Timm is looking after you! Im glad that it seems your making a rubbishy situation into something really interesting and a focal point for thought!

There was one I read a few weeks back and I meant to message you off the back of it! I just read your one about poo and it reminded me that I had something to say!!! It must have been one when you were feeling pretty rubbish and down and its how you didnt feel yourself and maybe not as attractive.

It struck a bit of a response in me and dragged me away from writing turkish pop songs but it basically got me thinking, I go in to town and see girls my age strutting there stuff, dolled up to the nines, when in absolute honesty, i think… if only they knew. I just want you to know, you knock blocks out of most women Sam! Stoma, no stoma, you’re an absolute babe!

Timm knows that (obviously), and even a group of young’uns who think they can play instruments think that! It just got me thinking is all, how can a woman so full of confidence, attractive and so fun be down about this! When the situation, as crappy as it may seems, that she’s writing about, doesn’t one bit, change who she is!

Anyway, ive said my piece now! Also, I just want you to know, this wasnt written with empathy or feeling sorry… more just like, shes wrong and id like to tell her that shes wrong, cos i think shes fucking ace! xxx”

Our confidence and self esteem come from within, not from the acceptance or compliments of others, but man, when you are feeling shit they sure do help!!