Today I spoke to the consultants secretary again, she says that he needs to see me regarding the test results from the anorectal physiology test and my surgery now won’t be till May.
There are two dates, one the 14th and one the 28th May. Either way it sucks big time that it will be another 4-6 weeks till my pouch surgery.
I’m gutted. I’m crying all the time, the stress has really got to me. Worse than I thought it would. I think I’m a quite tough person but right now I feel so broken. The crushing disappointment of working myself up to be able to deal with major surgery and then being let down again and again is heart wrenching and it’s all just got a bit too much.
Everything is just getting to me, I feel fed up and pissed off with the world. I’m sick of crying, sick of being a whingy moan bag.
So I’m running away from home.
Ok well not running because you know, hernia. And the husband and kids know about it.
I booked (some ridiculously cheap) flights to Spain and I’m off to see my Aunty and Uncle who live in Malaga, no kids, no work, no thinking of hospitals or surgery.
I need some time and space for myself and Timm suggested I had a bit of time to just destress, chill out and have space and time to relax and think about myself. Man, he is awesome!
So I’m off on Friday for a week in the sun!
I know running away from your problems doesn’t work but I’m thinking a brief time out of real life shit is much in order.
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Love Sam xxx >