Wait, what the fuck is a summer body? Is it better than an Autumn body?
That big glowing ball of light and warmth is warming up the air temperature slightly and so it is time for every magazine and website to start telling us to get ‘beach ready’, get a ‘bikini body’ and starve, scrub, wax and our disgusting Spring bodies to achieve the almighty SUMMER BODY!
Do you know the best way to get a bikini body? It is to put a bikini upon your body… And whether that body is fat or slim, muscly or bony, whether you have scars, stretch marks, a stoma, big boobs, little boobs, no boobs, a big bum, a flat bum, thighs that are tiny or thighs that have some meat on them… Your bikini body will always be better if you feel happy and confident.
Choose swimwear that makes you feel comfortable and happy. If that is a thong and nothing else, then hooray! And if it it a vest and shorts then bloody well go for it.
How hard do you have to work to afford a holiday? That one or two weeks should be about relaxing, having fun and enjoying yourself. With all the pressures we have in day to day life, why the fuck should we be spending time, money and emotional stress on dieting, exercising, exfoliating, waxing, shaving, buffing and primping? Go on your holiday and enjoy it!
There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or to get fit. But do it because you want to be healthier or fitter, or because you would feel better dropping a few pounds. Don’t do it because the multi billion pound beauty industry use a season of the year to sell extra products by making you feel bad about yourself!
The phrase “are you beach ready?” is being used regularly at the moment, and by that they mean have you poured hot wax onto your skin and then torn the hair from your body, or have you used a sharp blade to scrape every inch of hair from your legs, fanny and armpits… Newsflash! Human bodies are covered in hair! Choosing not to remove it has no relevance to whether you are ready to go on a beach.
Can you imagine a world where it was socially unacceptable for a man to be in public with hair on his legs, armpits or genitals? No, me neither. Yet society tells women that it is abhorrent to have hair anywhere but on our heads! If you choose to remove your hair then that is up to you, but if you choose not to then you are open to ridicule and insults. Remember when Julia Roberts showed her armpit hair and the photos went around the world. How bloody bizarre!!! Imagine the same thing with a fella? Nope, just wouldn’t happen.
Not ok… Ok…
I came across a particularly vile theme whilst researching this post called #bikinibridge – the aim being to be so thin that your bikini bottoms bridge across your hip bones… Wow! Now some women are naturally thin and this is nothing against them, but to be aiming to lose so much weight that your stomach sits concave to your hips is both unhealthy and terrifying.
How bloody sad that women will waste their time worrying about how much of a gap their is between their hips and stomach? Man, go learn a language or attend a lecture, go spend time with your friends or read a book. Ladies, don’t waste your time worrying about making your body look like an underweight child.
Im a size 16 with pubic hair, scars, stretch marks and imperfections. Do I look like a supermodel on the beach? Hell no! But I tell you, I am grateful for this body, this body that holds me up and keep going despite disease, surgery and missing organs. This amazing human body is so strong and adaptable, it is a wonder. So when I go on the beach this year I will be celebrating what a lucky woman I am to be alive and well. I guarantee I won’t be worrying whether it is ‘beach ready’ or the ‘perfect summer body’.
It is my body and I am proud! The next time I am in a bikini, I will be having fun and worrying not about whether other people can see my scars, whether other people don’t like the shape of my stomach or the wobble of my ass.
Don’t get sucked in by this annual tripe, it is simply a lazy, easy way to sell magazines and products. If you are lucky enough to be going on your hols this year, then invest your time and money into something worthwhile. You are so much more than the size of your thighs or the hairiness of your fanny… The fact that you are well enough to travel, that you have enough spare money to be going on holiday mean you are in a better position than millions of people. Relish in that and go have fun in your beautiful spring/summer/autumn/winter body.