So do you remember that when I had my stoma I also had a parastomal hernia that I named Harry? Well, Harry is a tenacious little sod and even though I my surgeons fixed my hernia during my Jpouch Surgery he is BACK… And so I am gutted to say that my resolution to have no surgery in 2015 is shot and it is only January!
I will be having surgery on my hernia (hopefully) in the next 6 weeks. It is only a small operation and I will only be in overnight but I have to say I feel quite anxious and unhappy about it. I was desperately hoping that my jpouch surgery last May would be the last hospital admission and the thought of going back in is really upsetting. I know it is only a little op and it is done routinely every day but just as I am starting to get my life back and things are getting easier, it feels like a massive setback to have to have something else done.
I have an incisional hernia now, that is a hernia where the weakness comes from a previously made incision in the abdominal wall, ie the scar left from a previous surgical operation. It is surprisingly common at 12-15% of operations will lead to a hernia. I had no idea it was so common! There is no other treatment apart from surgery and unfortunately the success rate for repairing them is quite poor with a high incidence of complications and failure. That’s a bit depressing!
I have my pre op assessment on the 16th February and the doctors said at my appointment they were hoping surgery would be in the next 6 weeks and so I am hoping to be sorted by the end of Feb/beginning of March but we shall see.
An odd coincidence is that my mate who was in at the same time as me for the jpouch surgery in May also will be having another surgery in the next few weeks so we are hoping to be hospital twins again.
I am trying to stay upbeat and remember that in the grand scheme of things and all the surgery I have had so far, this is nothing, it’s just a little thing I need to get sorted. But I am really upset and stressed. Everytime I have a set back, it just reminds me of my fragility and I HATE that. I hate the constant reminders that I am not ‘normal’, that I can’t do everything other people can do.
But I will use that feeling to push me forward and to keep going, keep helping others, keep proving people wrong and keep being so bad ass…
Love Sam xx