Hernia date booked!

Very quick update about Harry the hernia… I blogged about getting the news I was being treated at a private hospital.

Well, my letter has come through and I’m booked in for the 21st March! Just under 3 weeks time.

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Though I know it’s a routine operation and I trust my fabulous surgeon Mr Brown implicitly, I am very nervous. I think psychologically, I associate hospitals with so much pain and missing my family and so my anxiety levels are quite high thinking about surgery.

I even thought about cancelling, I just got myself in a bit of a panic and was thinking that the hernia isn’t that bad and that I could live with it. The reality is that it isn’t as bad as the last one. But it is uncomfortable every day and stops me doing things. It’s a sharp sickly pain when it pops out but because it’s not agony, I was thinking maybe I should wait.

I got over myself though and know I need this surgery to help me feel like I’m back on the road to recovery and so I will be going ahead.

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I’m hoping that the change in environment may help my anxiety. I’ve never been to this hospital before and so it’s a different feeling to going ‘back’ to the Northern General. The place looks gorgeous and I’ll hopefully only be in for one night.

As with all surgeries, I have this panic that I won’t wake up. But I trust Mr Brown and really do feel like I’m in the safest hands and so I need to try to let go of that fear and accept that I will be cared for.

The kids are upset about me going back in.  They always get very concerned when I have to go into hospitals even if it’s just for a clinic visit, as they are afraid I will stay there for a couple of weeks.  But I have assured them that it will be a brief stay, the doctors say one night in, and this hospital doesn’t have set visiting hours and I will have a private room so they should be able to visit me whenever they like.  This really helps Timm as trying to arrange visits and school runs was quite stressful for him before.

I am having an operation on an Incisional Hernia, which means the weakness is where they cut me for the stoma, this is my second hernia op in a year and unfortunately the chances of it coming back are quite high.  But I will plod on in the hope that one year I will go a full 12 months without any surgery!!

 

I will, of course be blogging up to and after my surgery, so do keep reading!

 

Sam x

What a week!!

So, this week has been crazy!! After my post of the letter to the woman who tutted at me for using the disabled toilets went viral, the website has had over 2 million views and I have been in newspapers, websites, radio stations around the world and even had an appearance on BBC breakfast.

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I have been on BBC Sheffield, BBC WM, BBC 5 live, Spin 1038, Rother FM and Hallam FM.

I made it over to Australia and appeared on both The Telegraph and News.com as well as countless smaller news outlets.

Lots of Danish and Swedish websites ran the story too. Plus too many sites than I can mention have shared, reblogged and discussed the story as well as the Metro and Huffington Post.

I have been in the Sheffield Star, daily Mail and the Mirror.

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But please don’t think I’m bragging. I am just so pleased that my story, my little blog, my baby has made it into the lives of so many people.

From the start, what I wanted was to make a difference. To help those with Crohns and Colitis to not feel alone, to know there are others who feel the same, suffer in a similar way and that there are a community of people who care and want to make their lives better.

To know I’m part of that, that I’ve made people feel a little better is amazing. I am so proud.

Now, pride is a sin, (I remember this from my Catholic youth!) but I don’t care! I am proud that I have turned the worst two years of my life into something amazingly positive, something that has made a difference to people around the world!

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I have received messages from thousands of people telling me their stories. I am honoured that all these people feel they can share the personal details of their illnesses and feelings. I am reading every single comment and email and trying to reply to as many as I can.

I’m in shock to be honest, the past week has sent me from a blogger sat talking about poo in her office to the couch of the UK’s top breakfast show! I am a little overwhelmed by the attention but so blessed that this has happened.

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I just want to thank every one of you. Every single read, like and share is making a difference to millions of people. This issue is bigger than the IBD audience that I had originally planned it for. Messages from people with all manner of invisible disabilities have touch and I have learnt a LOT.

Moving forward from this viral publicity, I am more motivated than ever to make a difference. I am in talks with three different charities about how I can help to better the lives of my peers and I am so excited.

I know I come across as this confident, outspoken person who is fearless… Inside I am a 33 year old mum, I am a wife, sister, daughter, friend. I was a teenage mum and constantly worry and question myself. I have a chronic illness that will never leave me and I’m always exhausted. I worry people will judge me on my lack of further education and think I’m stupid. I’m a size 16 woman living in a world where women are judged my their size not their character.

But I’m also a writer.

I want to make a difference.

I want to change the world.

And so this past week has taken me, and all my flaws and weaknesses, and taken me one step closer to my goals.

Thank you so much. You’ll never know how much I appreciate every read, every like, every share, every comment.

You lot are awesome.

Thank you

✌️& ❤️

Sam xx