Fat is not sexy…

These are the words of Steve Miller, do you remember him? He did a show called Fat Families where he basically bullied people into exercise and eating salad by calling them “massive fatties” at every opportunity in order to motivate them to lose weight.

Well I unfortunately stumbled upon his twitter feed yesterday and unsurprisingly it is filled with fat shaming posts.  What does surprise me is how far he is willing to push his condemnation of overweight people.  His feed is filled with venomous statements labelling people “fat” “lazy” and stating that they aren’t curvy, just fat.

steve miller twitter fat shaming

Here’s the charmer himself telling the world about the “reality” and “truth” that fat people are unattractive and aren’t able to be in a loving relationship.

steve miller twitter fat shaming

Also fat people don’t have sex.  It’s the truth, it must be!!! This vile Alan Carr wannabe said so!!  All I can think is that he has been taking a leaf out of the Katie Hopkins school of fame and hopes that if he can be as offensive as possible then he will gain fame.  He extolls himself as ‘the Simon Cowell of the slimming world’ with his Mr Nasty character and believes that fat shaming helps to motivate people to lose weight.

What a dick.

I really want to post an intelligent and reasoned argument as to why this vile toad is wrong, but I only have expletives!  How very fucking dare he?  His ‘reality’ and ‘truth’ is bullshit.  He doesn’t get to judge others on their outward appearance and assume that his fucked up, warped view of the world is the truth.

“The reality is; most men don’t want an overweight lover so as soon as they begin to get heavier their partner begins to look elsewhere. After all, who wants a fat woman on top of them in the bedroom?”

What world is he living in? His assumption that all women want to be a size 6 and all men would baulk at the sight of a woman larger than a supermodel is fucking ridiculous.

You know what is sexy? Confidence.  There is nothing hotter than a person who glows with self love, who is happy, joyous and loving life.  You know that person who lights up a room when they enter, who is interesting and clever and witty and you are drawn to them.  And they may be a size 6 or a size 26, the outer shell doesn’t matter when you are in the presence of someone awesome.

You know what isn’t sexy? A person who tries to make money from shaming people into feeling bad about themselves, who name-calls and belittles others.  Somebody who takes their own hurt and pain and puts it onto others.

Worry not, because they amazing world of twitter has responded with vigour.  Awesome blogger and fat activist Daisy replied.

steve miller twitter fat shaming

Whilst I pissed myself at Fat Becky‘s response…

steve miller fat shaming

Yeah, yeah I know lowering ourselves to mocking his appearance isn’t the most adult thing to do, but sometimes, some people are so vile that they kind of deserve it…

There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, get fitter or change your lifestyle, but how many really believe that someone bullying them will help? No one should lose weight because someone else makes them feel bad about themselves, weight loss and getting fitter should be a personal choice and one that is emotionally healthy for them.

And that personal choice goes both ways, a friend told me recently that she had been dieting for years and had started a new regime, her husband sighed heavily and told her that he would rather her gain another 5 stone than him have to see her punish herself any longer.  Not everyone wants to be thin, nor does every partner care what size their loved one is.

After my surgeries I was a little shy in front of my husband, I wore long vests in the bedroom to hide my changed body, this became a habit that I eventually tired of.  I realised I wasn’t fooling him, he didn’t think I was a size 0 under my size 16 vest!!! And so I rid myself of the garments and shook what my momma gave me… The result? An honest conversation where he told me that when I covered up it made him worry that I didn’t trust him to love me, it also made him think I couldn’t be enjoying myself if I was thinking about my stomach.

This vile man, Steve Miller, would like you all to believe that if you are fat, no one will love you.  I call bullshit.  If the people around you only care about the number in the back of your dress then dump those fuckers NOW.  True friends, partners, lovers care about you as a whole package and your size and shape pales into insignificance when it comes to your self esteem, confidence, joy and character.

Sex and love are about respect, trust, fun and excitement.  These things come through self esteem and a great relationship not through salads and treadmills.

Fat is not sexy? What a load of shit!!!


No make up, no photoshop, size 16 and in the words of the amazing Amy Schumer, I can catch a dick any time I want…

Steve Miller, go fuck yourself!


Sam x

25 replies
  1. Pandelirious Malifecto
    Pandelirious Malifecto says:

    Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. Fat folks have sex too. We men who appreciate women are stick thin call them BBW’s. I prefer Rubenesque. Self confidence and projecting that confidence is sexy. Skin is an errogenous zone, which means, “there’s more to love” is a very true statement. This is the kind of mindset that believes people with disabilities don’t have sex either. Moron.

  2. Naomi Fountain
    Naomi Fountain says:

    Steve used to be a fattie. It’s his own low self-esteem talking, even now he’s lost all that weight, he’s still projecting that outwards. The thing is, as a fattie myself, I don’t think that men will find me sexy because of my size. Of course that’s not true and I pulled a proper fit bloke the other month who had never been with a big girl, only been with model types. My personality made that happen and it was a massive boost to my self-esteem. And the sex.. he could barely keep up hahahahaha! It’s all about how YOU see yourself. If you project that to the world, that’s what you will attract in return. Love yourself, whatever size you are, whatever things are ‘wrong’ with you and there will be people out there that will be drawn to your awesomeness. You pitied that horrible c*nt Hopkins…. at least Steve was a fattie and knows what it’s like. With these diets and exercise shows, they never have the counselling to back up the weight loss. Most overweight people have an underlying reason why they are that size etc… diets are just a band aid, deal with the issues and then the weight loss will stick. It’s difficult when the whole world judges you but you can break that cycle of bad habits and overcome those demons.

  3. Li
    Li says:

    i think it’s great that you’ve posted this for many reasons and I appreciate that you’ve noted from size 6 to 26, beauty is beauty. I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment.
    But it should be noted that whilst there is fat shaming, theres also skinny bashing. There’s also a retaliation against weight lifters (especially of the female variety) and for some reason beyond me, people also take issue with other peoples dietary choices. I think the take home issue here is that you only have one place to live (your body) and it’s up to you, to feel at home in it. If that means hitting the gym or hitting the hamburgers- or both, or neither, I say knock your absolute socks off. Unless you’re hurting others, or hurting yourself, I don’t see the shame in it.
    No one should be telling anybody else how best to navigate their shape, size or otherwise. If it’s not your journey, don’t try and take the wheel.

  4. Erica
    Erica says:

    When I first got diagnosed with UC I got put on pred straight away and gained about 3 stone in a month, which meant none of my clothes fit and i got loads of strechmarks, after a few months of being on it I went back to the gp to change my meds and he said ‘it’s funny because people with uc are usually skinny, you should probably lose a few pounds’ and all I can remember thinking is if I didn’t have my boyfriend or wasn’t in a healthy mental state that could of seriously damaged me. Negative comments DO NOT help people change their lives. It just makes you feel shit about yourself!

  5. Rinse
    Rinse says:

    Hi Sam,
    I think you are awesome and doing an amazing job of demystifying the world of poo, IBD and all things bowel related, for which I whole heartedly applaud you. And whilst I agree with your sentiments re Mr Miller’s ignorant opinions, and understand the satisfaction of a rant(!!!) be careful not to lower yourself to petty name calling. Sure, disagree with his words all you like, but the sentence
    “lowering ourselves to mocking ….appearance isnt the most adult thing to do but sometimes some people are so vile they kind of deserve it”…
    Really? Isnt that how he justifies his opinions of fat people.

  6. poutinginheels
    poutinginheels says:

    *applauds*. Just the BEST post. I’m not even going to mention that person who spills forth such utter garbage and hatred, because he doesn’t deserve my words, but you my dear, most definitely DO.

    A perfect post. Absolutely spot on. Sexiness is not about being thin or looking like a supermodel (Who actually look very beautiful but very odd and nothing like the rest of us, I met one once in Germany and it was like a giraffe had walked into the room. She just didn’t look human at all and it made me feel a million times better about myself!).It’s about being happy, being confident, loving your body – whatever size or shape it is – and you know what? Having a bloody good time doing it. GREAT post, possibly my favourite of yours yet x

  7. Chloe
    Chloe says:

    The quote always makes me giggle. First thing that popped into my head was not that he was referring to a womans body but like a block of lard of bottle of vegetable oil. I was like yep, your right, its not that sexy.. Lololol

  8. Ms Tambo
    Ms Tambo says:

    I’M SORRY LADIES, BUT FAT IS NOT WHERE IT IS AT. No matter how hard one tries to convince themselves, being obese is not SEXY!!!

    I had to confront and then delete someone on my FB, who constantly thinks, “She’s All That And A Bag Of Chips”…(recently updated her profile to Royal Queen…fb name) More like SHE ATE ALL THAT, PLUS A LARGE BAG OF CHIP, lol.
    It seems to be the new trend these days that just because these women are able to “get someone *into* them” doesn’t mean these men are really “Into Them” per se, do you understand what I mean? I’m talking about women who fall within numbers…#6 and #7 in the Body Type Picture below, she was in between those.


    Let’s go back to the word SEXY: “Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest. Highly appealing or interesting; attractive”

    I’ve talked before about the differences between, SENSUAL and SEXUAL. One is CLASSY…secure inwardly and outwardly…not showy…The other is TRASHY and insecure, inwardly and outwardly…very showy. Same with being SEXY. For one, a truly sexy person doesn’t have to PROVE they are sexy, they just are. This person would fit into the category of “classy” and “truly self confident, a quit confidence”. This type of person no matter how they naturally look, even if they are overweight, will APPEAL TO OTHERS. Sad to say, this seems to be more true for men who are overweight than women. For us women do not put such a high importance on appearances as much as men do. God made it this way for a reason and I will talk more about this later. Now since the word means to be able to “SEXUALLY ATTRACT” others to you. My question to those no matter what size they are, who present themselves in such a TRASHY way….What are your MOTIVES? Are you seeking a “one night stand?”…are you needing an “ego boost?”…”do you like to tease and play games, for power and control?”…Because, if you are looking for a long term relationship, this is probably not the way to do it.

    To those of us who look on and who are really watching and who are in tune to their surroundings, what we see are very INSECURE people seeking attention, as a way to build themselves up. Instead of WORKING ON their character and seeking to develop good habits and lifestyles, and choosing to chase after dreams, goals and hobbies, instead these type of women, would rather chase after men to be an EXTENTION of themselves.

    I see this often, not only here on Facebook, but also as I go out and perform at pubs, bars etc. Basically anywhere there are drinks and a dance floor. The desperation of many women seeking male attention is often found in a woman showing off her boobs and low cut dress/skirts, (less is more…legs or cleavage, pick one, not both) dirty dancing, obsessed with pictures of themselves, coming on to men, especially inappropriately (men should make the first move) . One thing about “flirting”, it can easily be overdone. Done right, a man will always think he seduced you and not the other way around…smile emoticon…Now that is SEXY.

    *side note*…Being drunk is not attractive at all!!! Many a man will take advantage of this handicap.
    Going back to the word OBESE. According to surveys, common sense, society as a whole, and how God made us, men physically prefer #2-3-4-5-8 and even 9 (but, not too muscular). Like I mentioned men are to PURSUE WOMEN, not the other way around. A man must like what he SEES FIRST before making his next move. He wants a healthy mate to produce his children, and help out….Not a lazy slob eating, bon, bons all day. And there is just something about “an hour glass” figure, that God naturally gave woman….that is even enhanced through dance and other movements to entice. Much like He did in the animal kingdom, with the BEAUTY of not FORM and MOVEMENT and COLOR.

    God didn’t make us FAT, (in comments section is an article I did on Gluttony) we do. So, if we go back to how we are suppose to look…HEALTHY, that is what will attract a man more, especially at first. It wasn’t too long ago, 30-40 years that people were of normal size and much healthier. That what is normal. The FOOD INDUSTRY and man’s PASSIONS caused an increase in obesity, not God. Even I would be much smaller. And for those who got bigger after marriage due to children etc…a good man will love his wife no matter what….(mine did)

    Yes, all men have specific types, even desiring the #6’s and #7’s. But, that would be the exception, not the rule. Look at all 9 pictures and you yourself would agree with me.
    See, the key word these OBESE women do not want to admit is that they are UNHEALTHY. And that overeating, and eating the wrong things, and a sedentary lifestyle are the real causes to blame, not society. And being unhealthy no matter what unhealthy is, is never ATTRACTIVE. Personally, I’ve never seen a “sexy disease”, I have never seen “sexy/appealing moldy food in the fridge”, I have never seen a “sexy drug addict”, I have never seen a “sexy alcoholic” etc…get the point…#6 and #7 not sexy.

    WHY, because 6 and 7 (even 1 is unhealthy) represents to a person who views them, images of many other unhealthy lifestyle choices and all the complications of such behavior. (btw, an obese person truly doesn’t see sexy either when looking in a mirror, so why should we?) Speaking of behavior, obesity is the #1 trait of the Sanguine Temperament. Now while Sanguines are lots of fun to be around and they are the “life of the party”, (you’ve heard the saying, “fat people are jolly”) they also tend to have the MOST WEAKNESSES, because of one main factor….THEY ARE VERY IMPULSIVE. (google the 4 temperaments, Sanguines have the most weaknesses) This impulsiveness motivates and dictates most of their decisions…Especially FOOD INTAKE and what KIND. Feelings will win out over the brain every time, if not motivated by being self controlled and spirit controlled. What most see when they see an overweight person who is obviously out of PROPORTION, is someone who isn’t able to handle their life very well, it too must be out of proportion. Taking care oneself, is seen as a PRIORITY for success and how well you can take care of others. What men find sexy in a woman is one that they can show the world, that he made an excellent choice, not only in the “wrapping of the package”, but also when it comes to what is INSIDE, good character, integrity, fun, smart, caring, nurturing, uninhibited, productive, etc. If a woman only has the wrapping and nothing to offer inside she too isn’t sexy.

    They say, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”, again this would be the EXCEPTION, not the rule (I’m always amazed how many want the exception, not the rule???) A well put together woman can represent 2 things….and both are evident, or at least will present themselves in their true forms soon enough.

    A “well put together” outwardly woman or man, in body type, cloths, accessories, hair/makeup etc. Has adorned themselves to convey either a REALITY or a FALSEHOOD. They either have their life together and have much to offer you, or they are pretending, so as to entice you into thinking they are a “great catch”. Either way, it is often the “bigger girl” who sits alone, waiting to be noticed among her competition, so, some do what they can to “up the ante”. The big girl who is probably a nice person on the inside, has to pull out her tricks to entice a man to even notice her. BTW, both the “well put together one” whose insides are mean, and the nice, “big one” are insecure and insecurity isn’t SEXY!

    I talk more about health reasons in the GLUTTONY article, so I will move on to what men love most….sex (and food, lol).
    Sorry, but Mike and Molly not sexy. I love Melissa Mccarthy, and I find her “sexy”. But to tell you the truth it isn’t her size that I find sexy at all, and my mind has to go around the image…(btw, her cousin Jennifer Mccarthy was in Playboy, doubt they will be asking Melissa, just saying) it is her personality, pretty face and dimples, comedic timing, so funny, her athletic ability and “go get em, spirit”. Another who I do not care for male wise when it comes to body type, but am still in love with his character (and maybe in real life?) is Kevin James from the sitcom, “KING OF QUEENS”. Again, VERY sexy to me for the same reasons. The Mike guy, absolutely nothing.

    Both shows, but mainly the Mike and Molly show talk about sex way too much (main reason I stopped watching it) and like most people picturing them having sex was not a very pleasant thought, and conjured up all kinds of questions and images, that I’d rather not think about. Where as watching a “FIT” couple, in an intimate situation, or flirting with talk of sex, is more appealing, if you know what I mean? Of course neither should be in a Christians mind, but such is the lure of tv and movies.
    When a man views an unfit woman, or he has been with one, he knows how her obesity especially if he is too, is filled with sexual complications. From limitation on positions (many can’t even have intercourse) and places, to poor hygiene and smells, aches and pains, being too tired, poor self esteem, (causes lack of desire) to not being able to conceive etc.

    Now that I think about it, it is shows like Mike and Molly, that are exaggerating the facts and realities of being overweight and like ALCOHOL is NOTHING TO BE GLAMORIZED and ENCOURAGED, like it is these days….for they both will KILL you and the relationships around you. For those who seriously genetically cannot help themselves, I’m sorry.

    But for those of you who think your SEXY, when you know deep down the truth, how about spending as much time working on getting in “really sexy shape,” inside and out, instead tying to prove to the world you are something you are not.

  9. melanie
    melanie says:

    I have been with my husband for nearly 15 years. In that time I have been as small as a size 12 and as large (now) as a size 20. Only the other day he grabbed me in the kitchen and said “hi sexy”.

    And we have the hottest sex I’ve ever had in my life. So yeah. I’m fat and I’m sexy!

  10. Didi
    Didi says:

    It’s funny how everyone defending the “being fat is sexy” trend is fat.. I’m fat and I don’t think it’s sexy, I think it’s nasty and uncomfortable and everyone should try to be fit and healthy… only in America where everyone is obese, do people start trends like “body shaming” just so we can accept that we are all whales.

  11. Denise
    Denise says:

    Sad that all I see here are people hiding from the truth fat is not attractive fat kills. It kills a mans lust for a woman, it kills a mans desire. Men see two sides of a woman the outer beauty the inner, if you think your man dosent want or deserve both then your fooling yourself. Its simple fat is not sexy, fat is not juicy its just fat its just fat and sweaty. And it shows a man that your body and your health are not important to you. So to him you will only be is a late night call and a your man no more then the a baby daddy.


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.