Public cervix announcement

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Right, people with a cervix, let’s talk about vaginal health!
Not a usual topic for me, but today I wanted to share my latest escapades and remind you all to think about your cervix.

I am up to date with my cervical smears, but for the past six months I have been having odd symptoms ‘down there’. Bleeding and spotting inbetween periods, bleeding after sex, weird discharge and pain.

I went to my GP who examined me and sent me for further tests. I had swabs for infections that all came back negative and had an ultrasound scan where they looked both at my abdomen and groin and also internally.

From there I was sent for a colposcopy where they found some cell changes in my cervix and an area of bleeding.

We had to talk about the possibility of cervical cancer as well as abnormal CIN cells that could be Pre cancerous. It’s been a few very tense weeks of waiting for results.

I’m over the moon to say that there are no signs of the big C, just some cells that have changed slightly. I am going in to have cryo cauterisation where they’ll remove all those cells and the area that is bleeding.

It was easy to ignore these symptoms, to put the pain down to my IBD and operations. After all, my smears came back normal 2 years ago.

But I did the right thing and got it all checked out, all though it’s been a scary, old time, I’m so glad I did.

According to charity Jo’s Trust, 1.12 million people did not take up their screening invitation in the past year and figures show cervical screening coverage in England is at just 72.7%, meaning one in four women may be at risk of a potentially life-threatening cervical cancer diagnosis.

Please guys, if you have a cervix, then look after it. Go for your regular screenings, they save lives. Check now, yes right now! When was your last smear? Are you up to date? If not, call your doctor and book it in now.

And if you are up to date, but are having any symptoms that aren’t normal for you, then go get it checked. Don’t wait for your next planned smear, do it now.

When you have other illnesses, it’s easy to forget about the rest of your body, or to put symptoms down to your health problems. It’s easy to forget about the regular screenings you should be having when your life is taken up with Drs appointments, meds and treatment. But it’s so important to take care of yourself.

I was terrified that my results were not going to be healthy, that I had cancer and it was going to be terrible. I’m lucky and I am going to have a minor procedure and have no huge concerns.

But even if the news had been that the big C was lurking up there, the sooner it is detected, the better the treatment.

So please, go check your dates and if you’re overdue, get booked in TODAY! And if you have anything not quite right going on, get it checked out.

There are some recognised symptoms associated with cervical cancer that you should be aware of. These include;

  • Abnormal bleeding: during or after sexual intercourse, or between periods
  • Post menopausal bleeding: if you are not on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or have stopped it for six weeks or more
  • Unusual vaginal discharge
  • Discomfort or pain during sexual intercourse
  • Lower back pain.

These can all be symptoms of things other than cancer, but they do need to be checked out.

If you are concerned about embarrassment or discomfort, know that the staff are so well trained and understand that it’s not the easiest or most pleasant thing to do, but they aim to put you at ease.

Also if you aren’t cisgender and don’t identify as female but have female genitalia, don’t overlook this important part of your health.

If you’re under 25 and not been called for a smear but have any concerns, call the doctor and speak to them.

If you’re over 65 and aren’t up to date or have issues, call now!

Basically I’m speaking to all your cervix owners! Look after yourself and get checked.

And so this ends your public cervix announcement.

Much love

Sam xx

Stupid bloody fatigue 

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Sorry, I know that isn’t the most mature title but I’m pissed off.  Yesterday, for once, I felt like I had energy, I had all the spoons in the world. I was living in a spoon factory.

If you think I’ve lost my marbles then go have a read of the Spoon Theory.  “It’s a disability metaphor used to explain the reduced amount of energy available for activities of daily living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness.

Spoons are an intangible unit of measurement used to track how much energy a person has throughout a given day. Each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person “recharges” through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished.”


Anyway, I had allllllll the spoons yesterday and so I did what I always do when I feel good which is, too much. Too much of everything. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t out raving. My version of too much is working, cleaning, cooking tea, playing with the dogs, having a bath.

Rock n fucking roll eh?

I felt like maybe I had turned a corner and that my energy levels were up and the fatigue had gone. Stupid, stupid me.

I woke this morning feeling like I am dead. Every joint is stiff and painful. My head is full of cotton wool. I feel like I haven’t slept in a year. I can barely move. Imagine you have a stinking hangover and you ran a marathon yesterday, that is how I feel today (and most days).

And so I’m mardy. Man, I am a grumpy fucker today.

I feel like yesterday was some sort of sick joke that only occurred to make me remember what it’s like to feel human so today I can just feel the full force of the shitstorm that is my life.

I’m always exhausted. And today I feel shit about it. I almost wish that I hadn’t felt good yesterday and today feels so much worse.


Sorry for the whinge, but fatigue is probably the worst thing I deal with. It sucks and I can’t put a happy face on it today. My mood has dropped through the floor today and I can’t see the silver lining.

And so I’m going to wallow.

Because some days, wallowing is ok. Some days, it is ok to have a face like thunder and feel like shit, it’s ok to not feel positive, it’s ok to to be miserable.

So here’s to all the badasses who need to wallow sometimes.

Sam xx

Dear tea lady,

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Dear Tea Lady,

I am so sorry that I don’t know your name, but every time we have met (which has been probably 20 times over the past three and a half years!) I have been dreadfully ill and self indulgent.  I do genuinely feel bad that I can’t remember your name as you have been one of the most important people in my recovery.  But I’m going to blame the drugs.

So dear Tea Lady of the Northern General hospital, I wanted to write a big thank you letter to you.  I have had 4 of my 5 surgeries at your hospital and benefitted from the wonderful care of top surgeons, consultants, anaesthetists, specialists, registrars, doctors, students, nurses and support workers.  All of these people gave me the most brilliant support and health care, I am so lucky to live in the UK and get free at the point of care, world class treatment.

I have had my colon removed, an ostomy created, a jpouch created, a jpouch removed, two hernias fixed, a rectum and anus removed and another ostomy created.  I have also spent weeks and weeks in hospital receiving medication, treatment, blood transfusions and care.

hospital pouch ibd ulcerative colitis

But you know the person who made me feel so much better every day? Yep, it was you!

I saw my consultant for a couple of minutes on their morning rounds, the doctors if something is going wrong, nurses through the day who are so busy and overworked and though I am sure they would like to spend a little more time with patients, they just can’t, I saw support workers, specialists and that huge team for the surgeries themselves.  Yet it was your face that made me smile several times a day.

You make your rounds with your tea cart and after day one, take the time to remember, not only my name, but also how I take my tea! It is a small yet important part of my hospital day, a little feeling of personal care and a reminder of home.

You made me feel special, when you spend a lot of time in hospital, you very quickly become institutionalised, it’s so easy to end up feeling like a number.  But you made me feel like a person, a person who likes their tea strong, yet milky and with one sugar.

I wonder if you know just how important your role is? Do you understand that you become a part of so many people’s recovery story.  You are the person I saw the most, a constant, nurses change from shift to shift, you only see doctors if something is going wrong, yet you are the person I saw several times a day, every day.  Your days off is always a sad one.

And so I want to thank you.

Thank you for all the tea, thank you for the extra biccies on the evenings where you thought I looked like I needed them, thank you for remembering me, thank you for knowing I am a person, not just a patient, thank you for the times you noticed I looked sad and came and touched my hand and made eye contact, thank you for taking your time to speak to me, thank you for the magazines you brought over when I was bed ridden, thank you for telling me about yourself, thank you for the gossip, thank you for being wonderful.

Tea Lady, you are awesome. (And I am really sorry that I can’t remember your name)

Sam xx