The C word

No, not Cotton Headed ninny muggins.  Or C**t. But Cancer. Today I’m writing about cancer.

Before it feels too click baity, first up, I don’t have cancer, so no panicking!!! But I’m in the middle of a bit of a scare, so here goes…

A few weeks ago I had a CT scan to take a closer look at my hernia and then a couple of days later I ended up seeing my GP as I was having terrible acid reflux along with lots of stomach pain. I’d assumed it was all linked to the hernia.

The GP pulled up my CT scan results and told me that it had been noted that I had a very pronounced ovary. He started asking more questions about periods, pain levels, weight etc and then told me he’d like to do some blood tests. He explained that it was probably nothing but he wanted to check my CA125 tumour markers, that this marker looked at ovarian cancer and he just wanted to rule it out.

He explained that I could get an abnormal result simply as I’ve had abdominal surgery this year but he wanted to look.

I usually have regular (if very heavy) periods, but the past few months have been off kilter, being up to 3 weeks late which never happens! I’ve been having trouble eating as I’m getting heartburn and indigestion and a lot of bloating along with peeing a lot and lots of stomach pain but I’d put this all down to my usual problems.

A week later he called to tell me that they had come back high (a normal result is 0-35, mine was 68). He explained that this number can go into the thousands and so though mine were above normal range, they still weren’t sky high and still could be explained by other things but it was concerning him and he wanted to book me in for an urgent ultrasound.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Though I’ve tried to not get worried it’s hard to not let your mind run away with yourself and panic.

I started thinking about how I take painkillers every single day, how I’ve used a hot water bottle daily for months to ease the pain, how the pain in my stomach is often so bad that I can’t stand. I thought about how I’d put all this down to post surgery pain and the hernia and I’ve been scared that perhaps I’ve missed something bad.

Today I had the scan, I cried a lot in the morning, thinking that this could change everything, I was shaking and scared. I was hoping they’d see nothing and I could go back to just worrying about my stoma and chronic illness!!!

They found a large cyst on my left ovary, it’s about six and a half centimetres which apparently is quite big and so it is a concern.

The GP called me this evening and said that it could be just a normal benign cyst, but due to the size and the high blood tests, he wants it checked and so has put me through for an urgent referral to the gynae clinic.

Their course of action could be:

Rescan and more bloods

More scans/MRI

Surgery to remove it

But we’ll have to wait and see. There’s still a good chance this is a run of the mill cyst that will cause no more trouble but he had to warn me that it could be cancerous.

But the good thing is that due to catching it accidentally on the CT scan means it can all be diagnosed and treated early and I’m staying positive that whatever the little bugger is, I’m in good hands.

The past few weeks have been worrying and scary, even though I KNOW you should never google symptoms, I have done and it’s scared the pants off me.

Im just so fed up, my health has been one shitty thing after another and this year has been pants! Two surgeries this year alone and now the possibility of not just one more to deal with the hernia but potentially two more! I’m done in.

I am weepy, impatient and frazzled. I really must have done something bad in a past life!!! I’m scared. I know I need to think positively but it’s hard to not think the worst when it comes to people mentioning the big C.

But I must shake it off and keep my game face on because whatever the results, I will smash it!

✌🏽& ❤️

Sam xx

 

4 replies
  1. Jacquie
    Jacquie says:

    I get it!! I am post menopausal & kept bleeding daily, though lightly….I was terrified!

    Last year, after 3 D & C’s, my last one showed cancer in my uterus & cervix. In less than 3 months I was diagnosed & had surgery…total hysterectomy.

    I am SO grateful that my gyn doc was insistent on test after test. I am soon going for my 4th follow-up checkup & it’s been just over 1 year now since the surgery….so far, all is well.

    You have been through so much it just doesn’t seem fair to add on one more worry, does it? It is exhausting, trying to remain strong throughout it all but…..we are women & we always seem to come out stronger, & I don’t doubt that will be the case for you as well.

    I will be waiting to hear more, when the time comes & sending the healthiest of vibes from Canada….Hugs!

    Reply
  2. Vicki
    Vicki says:

    Sam I am keeping everything crossed for you that it’s not the big c and just cyst. You have been through enough. Hope all goes well

    Reply
  3. Carol Griffin
    Carol Griffin says:

    Sam,
    .
    good luck! Rely on your support network (starting with your family and reaching outward). Of course you are worried! It just means you are paying attention.

    Remember, your support networks includes us all — the entire world. Remember also, the number of people you have helped including me–Virginia, USA

    Reply

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