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And then I blow dried my arse… 

There are many things I never thought I’d say, and living with IBD has given me the opportunity to say many of them. I surprise myself at times.

Since having my latest op, I am dealing with a most peculiar wound. I now have, what is commonly known amongst people who’ve had this done, as a Barbie Butt.  During surgery, the doctors removed EVERYTHING from ‘down there’, I have no colon, no rectum and no anus.  My ass is like Barbie’s… as in no holes, it is not quite so pretty though!

A few years ago, I would have never in a million years told the world this, I would have been mortified.  I would have felt embarrassed and sad and humiliated at the thought of other people knowing this.  What if that laughed at me? What if they talked behind my back? What if they thought I was gross?

These days, thanks to this blog, I share everything.  I know that I am not alone and that there are so many people going through the same things as me.  I know there a millions of people living with all manner of illnesses and disabilities that society would deem embarrassing and so I think fuck it! If me talking about taboo subjects and things that are giggle-worthy helps just one person, then I will happily blab about my life.

barbie butt permanent ostomy

So anyway, this Barbie Butt…

Well, I literally no longer have a bum hole, it is sewn up completely, but bum holes don’t really like being sewn up completely, it confuses the hell out of the brain and body and so it can often be difficult to heal.  It is really quite sore, it’s not very nice to sit flat on my bum, it is painful, itchy and like any wound, takes time to settle down.

I think I am quite lucky at the minute, because apart from the soreness, I have had no issues.  I know some people have an awful time and need drains, have abcesses, stitches opening and all manner of nasty problems.  My stitches are all dissolvable and the worst part has been having the district nurse look at my bum twice a week.  Some people have stitches that need to be removed, some have staples or even have the wound left open to heal from the inside out.  I can obviously only talk about my experience.

It is quite intriguing though, it is one of the first things that family or friends have asked about since the op, with one (very weird) friend asking to have a look.  It is a bit of an oddity isn’t it! I did have to get a mirror and have a peek once I got home!

I have been scouring the internet for ways to relieve the pain and discomfort of the barbie butt and then got an email from a reader in Australia called Amanda who has had the same surgery as me.  She recommended salt baths and then using a hairdryer to dry the area…

I had to try it and I have to say, it seemed to work quite well, which is how I have ended up here writing about giving my arse a blow-dry!

sam cleasby author so bad ass sheffield

I thought I would share some tips on relieving symptoms in the recovery of Barbie Butt:

Using a donut cushion or an inflatable cushion.  Some people say not to use a donut as it puts more pressure on the area, but I found it really helped.

Sleeping on your side, if possible

Keep it clean.  Shower, bathe, bidet, whatever works best for you.  Avoid soaps and scented products.

Salt baths

Using a hairdryer (on cool and low!) to dry the whole area.  You’re not going to want to be drying it with a towel and it needs to dry.

Getting some air to it! Going without pants/pyjamas at night (if possible) so the wound isn’t constantly covered and sweaty!

Speak to your nurse or doctor if you are worried about anything.

Take painkillers, keep on top of your pain levels

Give yourself a break.  You have had major surgery and need to give your body plenty of time to recover.

 

As always, I have no medical training, these ideas are what I have tried or what others have suggested.  Do speak to a professional if you are at all worried about anything to do with your wound.

 

 

Sam xx