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Happy Mothers Day

Dear Mum,

Happy Mother’s Day!

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

Just a post to say how grateful I am for everything you do for me and my family and to tell you we all love you very much.  No mother and daughter relationship is without it’s bumps and arguments, and ours is the same but I love you lots and just wanted to tell you how special you are to me.

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

Your help and support this year has been a life saver, thank you for looking after us all, caring for me and being there for all five of us.  There’s not many son in laws who love their mother in laws quite as much as Timm loves you and so this is from him too, he loves you Mo Mo!

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

Thank you for being an amazing nannan to my kids, you mean the world to them and you know how much Charlie adores you (“just move in nan!!”)  I adore the relationship you have with them, you are so special to them and they couldn’t love you more.  You are the best nannan ever.

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

I am sorry when I am not there for you, I know I am not the best daughter in the world (and we all know who your favourite is *COUGH AUSSIES!!* :P)  I know I don’t call as often as I should and I am a bit rubbish at keeping in touch but you are in my thoughts all the time.

You are totally bonkers and still manage to surprise me when you turn up to parties in a naked fat suit or dressed like Elvis Presley.  You can drink me under the table, your shot drinking is astounding and you kick ass at Beer Pong.

pop stars fancy dress

 

You’ve been through a lot and it’s not easy for you, I know.  But know we love spending time with you, our holidays are brilliant, whether it’s in this country or abroad.  I am really proud of you when you try new things and I still can’t believe we got you on a horse!!!

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

 

Thank you for always being there for us, your cooking is second to none and you know that when the kids come home from school and see your car in the drive, they run in shouting “YEY! Nan’s cooking curry!!!”

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

Thank you for all the cooking and cleaning when I was recovering from this surgery, for helping Timm and taking some of the strain.  Thanks for helping me to bathe, probably not something you thought you’d ever have to do again! And thank you mostly for sitting in bed with me and watching a whole season of Hell’s Kitchen! “That’s f**king RAW!”

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

Happy Mothers Day momma,

mothers day mother daughter relationships maureen sam cleasby

 

I love you,

Sam xx

Happy Mother's Day to all the sick mums

When you have a child, you make this silent vow, a promise to yourself that you will protect, love and adore this baby and always be there for them.  And so when something makes that difficult, when an unplanned illness or injury makes you falter at the most important job you have ever had, it is tough.

My kids have grown up with me having Ulcerative Colitis, Charlie was 3 and Ellie was 11 months when I was diagnosed.  Thom was born a year later, my body having fought against his during the pregnancy where I had awful flare ups that made me anaemic, made me pass out, made me lose weight and eventually be hospitalised on bed rest and blood transfusions.

 

sam cleasby mum parent blogger

They have grown up with a mum who runs away from shopping trolleys in supermarkets to go to the loo, who always has wipes in her bag way past a time when they could be deemed necessary for children.  They have seen me so ill in bed that I didn’t have the energy to help them get ready for school, they have had to visit me in hospital more times than is ever right for a child, they have stroked my hair as I lay in bed with them and brought me heat pads and pain killers when I couldn’t manage myself.

They have learnt to make their own breakfasts, lunches and dinners.  They come running asking “mum, are you ok” when they hear my fast footsteps to the bathroom and the slam of the door.  They cried when they saw me in pain, wiped my tears away before their own and cuddled me, all piling into my bed to watch a film because they know that is the best I can give at that moment.

When they shied away from me after surgery, because they were afraid of hurting me and thought my stoma was weird, it was the toughest time.  And now knowing that my bambinos have had a harder childhood because of my illness, it breaks my heart.

child carers parents with disability or illness

Having a chronic illness or a disability that sometimes stops you doing all the things you want to do can feel like having one hand tied behind your back, it can feel like you are at a huge disadvantage and believe me, I know the feelings of anger, frustration, hurt and pain when as a mum, you can’t give your kids everything they need.

But I have to believe that my illness has also given my children positives, that the lessons they have had to learn will do them good in their lives.  I see it already in my loving, attentive and caring children.  I see it in the fact that despite the fact that I talk about poo for a living, they aren’t embarrassed!  They are so compassionate and empathetic and they have an insight into invisible disabilities as well as visible disabilities than many adults don’t.  They know that the richest you can be is when you are happy and surrounded by those you love, that your health is vital as this is the only body you get, they know that life sometimes gives you things you don’t want, need or ever even dreamed of but that you have to deal with it all through talking openly, sharing your feelings, occasionally weeping in a snotty mess, then pulling on your big girl (or boy!) pants and making the best out of the situation.

And so to the mums who today are celebrating mother’s day who have had to, on occasion, put their health before their child’s immediate needs, who have a heavy heart filled with guilt when they think about the things their children have seen and dealt with, to those who are cared for in part by their children, to those who have a disability or illness that affects the whole family…

kids visiting sick mums in hospital

To you mums, I salute you.   I raise a glass in solidarity to all who are just doing their best to get through each day.  I feel your pain but remind you gently, that it isn’t physical perfection that makes for a great momma, it is love, kindness and the ability to hug, kiss and raise amazing young people.

Our babies may not have the upbringing that we dreamt of, but they have us now.

Today hold them a little closer and pat yourself on the back for being enough.

 

Love Sam x

Happy Mothers Day

I was 19 when I had my first child, many people said it was too young.  That Timm and I were idiots who couldn’t cope with being parents…  We probably were idiots.  But the minute that not so little bundle was put in our arms it all changed.  We realised what the meaning of life was, we had created a human being and it was amazing.  Ellie and Thom followed in the next four years and our family was complete.

sam and timm cleasby

I love being a mum, yes I may complain about the difficulties, the constantly messy house, teenage dramas and general stress of having a family but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My kids are the best achievement of my life, they are the thing I am most proud of and three of the most important people in the world.

My heart beats for them and Im continually blown away that between myself and that wonderfully weird husband of mine, we managed to create these three perfect, unique, bizarre, clever, funny, kind, talented, beautiful children.

They are the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I fight so damn hard to be healthy and positive.  The reason I will go through surgery, medication and recovery so I can be the best momma I possibly can for them.

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Life is fragile, it can be so brief.  Hold your loved ones close today, tell them you love them.

 

Happy Mothers Day xxxxxxxxxxx

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