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Why you need to stop hating and start being kinder to yourself

Last year I did a talk at the Steel Belles Women’s Institute about body image I talk about how my surgeries were the start of feeling good about myself, how when you feel lucky to be alive, it is easier to stop the negativity.  I also talk about passing poor body image down through the generations and the time my kids told me I had long boobies.

Enjoy.

If you would like me to speak at your event, get in touch now.

HUGE news!

I have been desperate to share this news for a few months but had to wait for everything to be confirmed, but I have some HUGE news!

In February 2018 I will be traveling to Munich, Germany and co-hosting an amazing event to raise awareness and money for Crohns and Colitis UK and Lupus Foundation with none other than Hollywood actor Ian Harding from Pretty Little Liars!!

You can find more information and buy tickets here.

ian harding lupus sam cleasby crohns and colitis uk

Just in case you can’t read German, here is a translation from the website:

“Autoimmune diseases Lupus and Crohn’s disease Crohn’s are a treacherous affair: often doesn’t show the suffering people go through, and yet a diagnosis has serious consequences for life.

To raise public awareness of the incurable disease, actor Ian Harding – coming known from the hit series of Pretty Little Liars and multiple winner of the teen choice awards – and the renowned British Blogger Sam Cleasby host an exclusive benefit concert in Munich.

Together with Cleasby, Harding leads through the program of the evening. Afterwards, you can meet Harding and Cleasby personally, when they will be signing event-designed T-Shirts, posters and flyers to  all concertgoers.

The proceeds of the event go to the organisations Lupus Foundation of America and Crohn’s and Colitis UK, whose Ambassadors are Harding and Cleasby.

The Bands Splashing Hill, Liann and a third act which is yet to be announced provide the musical accompaniment. Supports the event is through the European Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation ECCS, by the Director of the Crohn’s and Colitis Centre in Munich, Prof. Dr. med. Thomas Ochsenkühn. This serves the medical backgrounds of the events, which will also be addressed in the context of a discussion panel with Cleasby and Harding.

Regular updates to the event can be found on the Facebook page of splashing Hill.”

ian harding lupus sam cleasby crohns and colitis uk

I am over the moon and so proud to be part of this awesome event and can’t wait to team up with Ian and give a great show! It would be amazing to see some of my european readers over there, it’s going to be a blast!

I have done talks around the world, but this will be my first time speaking in Germany and so I am really excited to get to hang out and get to know some badasses from around Europe.  I am always so proud to be asked to speak and this will be my first time hosting an event, so I just hope I do you all proud.

I hope to see you there!

Sam

Rosie Batty: Silencing those who speak out

In February 2014, 11-year-old son Luke Batty was murdered by his father, Greg Anderson at cricket practice in Melbourne, Australia.  It made worldwide news and society was shocked and appalled at the violent attack from a father towards a son.

His mum Rosie Batty became an advocate for female domestic violence victims and campaigner for making changes to government processes relating to the protection of women and children and she established the Luke Batty Foundation and Never Alone to assist women and children impacted by domestic violence.  Her courage, strength and bad ass spirit helped her to become the 2015 Australian of the Year.

She speaks out at events and to the media about the horrific experience of losing her son and is a domestic violence campaigner.  She uses her life to bring the conversation of domestic violence into the limelight and I think her selfless efforts are inspirational.  She is using her pain from an experience that many couldn’t even imagine to make a positive difference to others.  What a hero!

So why is Mark Latham, a former Prime Ministerial candidate trying to shame her into silence?

In his column for the Australian Financial Review, Mark Latham said of Rosie’s public speaking events;

“How did Batty immerse herself in such company, wheeled out at business functions to retell the story of her son’s murder in February 2014? There was a time, in the dignity of working class life, when grieving was conducted in private”.

How dare he!

What Rosie has done isn’t about a lack of dignity or respect to her son, the fact that this man feels he can silence a woman says more about him than her.  Her decision to speak out and make a difference is saving lives.

With her words other woman may find the strength to ask for help, mothers may leave abusive partners for her children as well as herself, she is teaching society about the warning signs and is publicly telling the government that more support is needed.

But when Mark Latham comments saying that this is a ‘private issue’ and ‘undignified’ he is creating a conspiracy of shame and silence and putting lives at risk.

This story struck a chord with me as I write about illnesses and treatment that can be embarrassing and ‘impolite’ to discuss in public, I spend most of my life either writing or speaking about poo and have faced others who believe it is undignified and should be kept private.  I never thought as a child that I would have a career in talking about poo, but this is where I am.

The experiences of Rosie Batty are incomparable, I am not putting losing a child in the same league as having an illness or surgeries, but the act of speaking out about something that others believe should stay private is similar.  I write, I speak out, I do all this to make a difference and help others.  I use my pain and suffering to reach out to those who are suffering and to break the taboo of embarrassing illnesses in the same way that Rosie uses her pain to help victims of domestic violence.

And so to see a fellow ‘sharer’ be shamed and silenced by a politician is just abhorrent.

When you go through a terrible experience, whether it be loss, illness or a life event that just knocks you for six, the shock and pain can make you feel so isolated.  It can feel like your life is crumbling and everything has changed forever.  How each person deals with that pain is personal and unique.  Some will keep it private and deal with it quietly and on their own, others may access the support of a wider circle and some may choose to use the experience to make a difference.

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There is no right way and people like Mark Latham don’t have the right to judge, shame and silence.

That judgement isn’t just affecting one person, the ripples spread so much further and you can hurt so many more.  Encouraging a culture of silence affects vulnerable people who need support and cements the shame and embarrassment into a person’s mind. I strongly and passionately believe that we should not fear speaking out about issues that are uncomfortable.

It takes courage to write or speak about things that are not socially acceptable or polite to discuss in public.  No matter how confident I may seem, every time I hit ‘post’, I fear the response I may get.  I worry that it will change the way people see me, I worry people will laugh at me or judge me.  But I keep doing it because I know I am helping, I know I am making a difference.

Rosie Batty is a true hero.  She is doing something amazing and helping so many when I am sure there are times when it is the last thing she wants.  I am sure she would give it all up in a second to have her boy back.  I am sure she is privately grieving and dealing with this in a personal way.  Her public persona and work doesn’t hinder her private grief.  She is amazing.

Please share this post and support Rosie using the hashtag #IStandWithRosie on Twitter.

Sam x

 

 

So Bad Ass talk at Seven Hills WI

I did a talk at the marvellous Seven Hills WI in Sheffield last month about self esteem and body confidence.    It was fantastic to get to talk to such wonderful women and it was filmed so please do take a look.  I am a little bit sweary so not suitable for younger viewers.  It is 45 minutes long, so grab a brew and take a listen.

If you would like to book me to talk at your event, get in touch now.

 

 

Love Sam xx

Happy International Women's Day 2015

Hope you have all had a fantastic Women’s Day 2015.  I have had a weekend with friends and family and LOVED seeing my Facebook and Twitter feeds filled with wonderful stories of inspiring women and feminism.

I thought I would share my talk from last year’s International Women’s Day in Barnsley where I spoke about living with my ileostomy and how I overcame the massive changes that surgery brought me and how it affected my self esteem and body image.

 

Much love

 

Sam x

Talking ostomies and self esteem – Pelican Healthcare

I was invited to the Pelican Healthcare Life Your Life roadshow in Cardiff to talk about living with an ileostomy and self esteem.  It was a great day, there was a ton of information stalls and products as well as dietary advice, a reflexologist, the Get Your Belly Out team and lots more.  The super friendly team at Pelican Healthcare were on site to welcome the ostomates, family and friends and to chat and guide them through the day.

pelican healthcare live your life roadshow

My talk was filmed and you can take a look here… Enjoy!

 

If you want me to talk at your event, then get in touch!

pelican healthcare live your life roadshow pelican healthcare live your life roadshow

 

Pelican Healthcare provide ostomy products to people all over the UK, as well as giving advice, support and developing a community for people with ostomies. You can like them on Facebook and follow them on twitter.

Sam x

IBD and body image – Sunday Assembly Film

I was thrilled to be invited to talk at Sunday Assembly in London at Conway Hall, their theme for the day was ‘I’m alright, me!’ and so my talk on Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Ostomies and body image fit in perfectly.

 

 

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Sunday Assembly is a “godless congregation that celebrates life”, basically a ‘church’ without a deity, a weekly meeting of atheists who live by the motto of Live Better, Help Often and Wonder More.  Conway Hall is a great venue and home of the Ethical Society and so it was great to talk poo in such a fantastic surrounding with a group of lovely chaps!

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I had a great day with Sunday Assembly and look forward to working with them again in the future!

Here is the film of my talk, enjoy!

 

 

 

sunday assembly conway hall london sam cleasby

 

To book me to speak at your event, get in touch.

 

Love Sam x