Im an emotional person and Im vocal with my love for the people around me, every night I say to the kids ‘Night night, I love you‘, it is just automatic and part of our routine. But do we tell the people around us that we love, appreciate and care about them enough? Is it enough to just think ‘they KNOW I care about them’?
Recently I went and stayed with my aunty and uncle in Spain, it was a last minute trip and it was wonderful to get away from the stresses of life here, to sit in the sun and have a week with wonderful family and friends and just not think about surgery, illness or hospitals. I was welcomed so warmly and they really looked after me, I am so grateful.
One thing struck me whilst I was there, my aunty told me every day, multiple times that she loved me. She showered me in compliments and was so openly loving and caring. She held my hands as we talked, hugged me, called me pet names and told me how much she cared about me. I watched her do the same to her two adult sons, telling them how much she loved and adored them. They rolled their eyes but you could see a small smile on their faces. Because hearing that you are loved makes you feel amazing.
I had never thought about it before, I tell Timm and the kids I love them, but I don’t compliment them or gush with love as much as I could. It is damn near impossible to be in a bad mood or feel sorry for yourself when you are being told how brilliant you are. It is probably an ego thing, but it really went much deeper than that.
I felt warm and happy, my soul felt nurtured and my heart full. It made me want to share that love and happiness, it made me feel open and accepting, contented and peaceful.
Since I have been home I make a point of complimenting the people around me and telling them I love them, especially the kids. At first it felt slightly uncomfortable, they eyed me suspiciously when out of nowhere I told them how proud I was of them, that they were so talented, kind, beautiful and awesome, that I loved them so, so much. This made me sad and made me want to tell them these things more often. It isn’t enough to say ‘they know I love them’ and I certainly don’t want them growing up thinking “My mum rarely told me she loved me” I want them to be rolling their eyes and saying “Enough mum!!!” whilst secretly loving the fact they grew up KNOWING that I adore them.
It goes further though, I make sure I tell the people around me that I love them, even if it is in a card, or a telephone sign off. When I believe my friends are courageous and wonderful I tell them, yes I sometimes worry Ill sound corny but Id rather feel like a cheese ball and them know I adore them than silently think it and them not know.
Think about it now, when was the last time you complimented your partner? A real heartfelt, honest, love filled phrase. I saw my sister in law say on Facebook that she didn’t care if it were corny, but that she adored her husband and he was the best man in the world. He replied with an equally loving statement and it was lovely. They are two people who are so open with their adoration for each other that you can’t help but feel a bit smiley and coy when you are around them. Its really beautiful!
Since being more open with my compliments and saying ‘I love you’ every day I can honestly say that I feel better, Im happier and I find that the more love you put out there, the more you get back.
My kids have stopped assuming that I am going to ask them to mow the lawn and have started telling me that they love me back. Even the 13 year old lad and that is saying something! We hug more, we laugh more and we love more. All from those three little words…
Sam xxx
