Things I’d like you to know from a sick person

1. I don’t need your sympathy but I do need your understanding.

2. Don’t be embarrassed. If you have a question, just ask!

3. It’s not you, it’s me. Please be patient when I can’t make events/cancel last minute/don’t return your calls.

4. Needing help and support is not easy to ask for, but know I appreciate every offer.

5. Don’t be afraid. Sometimes my treatment is scary and unknown to you. It’s ok to not know what I’m going through.

ibd hospital jpouch canula medications

6. Don’t be a stranger! Visits, texts, phone calls are all welcome.

7. Your children’s questions and comments are great. Don’t shush them when they point and ask, kids don’t bullshit.

8. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t be offended if I answer quickly and then change the subject.

9. Sometimes I do want to talk about it. Sorry if I bore your ear off with a rant. I don’t need answers, I just need to vent.

10. Sometimes it takes the strength and stamina of a mountain climber to just do the things that come normally to you.

ulcerative colitis disability sam cleasby IBD blogger

11. Hospitals hate flowers. But I don’t! If you want to send me them, wait till I’m home.  Then I’ll cherish them.

12. I appreciate that being my friend/partner/colleague is sometimes a bit tough. Thank you for being part of my life.

13. Sometimes I feel really sorry for myself and my head is in a whirl. Sorry for the times I hide away.

14. When you send me links to things about my illness, it means a lot to know you’re trying to understand and help.

15. It’s not all about me! Please don’t worry that your struggles aren’t “as bad” as mine. I want to know what you’re going through and help when I can.

sam cleasby sheffield blogger

16. Sometimes my meds make me fat/thin/sleepy/manic/sad/weird/angry. Don’t worry.

17. I have good days and bad. Often my good days lead to bad days because I push myself too hard so I get to do nice things.

18. I’m sometimes a bad friend because I lock myself away and I’m not there for you. I’m sorry.

19. My husband and kids are going through this too. Don’t forget them. (Timm always accepts trips to the pub)

sam cleasby ibd and children

20. This is a lifelong thing with no cure. If you can’t take the heat, get the fuck out of my kitchen.


Sam xx

9 replies
  1. Kath
    Kath says:

    Could of been written for/by me apart from#20. As im waiting for reversaland i count my blessings every day that my stoma reversal has a 50/50 chance of working.You are awsome. When i feel down i read your blogs and nearly always find an answer. Hope your feeling a bit bettet. Sending love Kath x

  2. Nat Nat
    Nat Nat says:

    I’m sure you read my mind lol xx
    You always say exactly how I feel an say the things I don’t know how to express.
    I always read out your posts to my husband an tell him “that’s how I feel, that’s me” this is my way of letting him know without feeling like I’m always moaning or complaining. Although sometimes the posts are so true to me I have to read them out through snotty sobs and tears.xx
    Thank you for helping me express my feelings and making me feel I’m not alone.
    Love you Sam xxxxxxx?

  3. Shaygaye
    Shaygaye says:

    I’m not always convinced this type of thing is true or if it’s a cynical ploy by a company to get a viral post going thus raising clicks on advertising and so on. That aside let’s assume it was written by a sick person then I think there are probably some good things. But the whole piece was spoiled by the tone of number 20 which destroyed any sympathy I had.

  4. Jude Hunt
    Jude Hunt says:

    Written with honesty, love and respect and even though I am fighting a different battle I adore your spunk to keep pushing the positive even when you are feeling like sh.. and dear Sam your number 20 hit it out of the ballpark. Go you….be a recluse when it suits and you need to mend andvshine bright like a diamond when you have the energy to engage…. and to your sweet family I say thank you for being you, Sam is lucky to be surrounded by your love and patience, not all women have such shoulders of support. Big hugs Jude H, Australia


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