Funny things overheard in hospital

During my last stay in hospital, I heard some brilliantly weird lines and jotted them down on my phone… I just found them and thought I would share.

You hear some great things on the ward…

“Did you know that they mummified Princess Diana? Mummified or embalmed. Are they different?”

“Elvis is alive! They just found him dead in America!”

“I think I just turned the TV off with my mind.”

“Some people drink piss you know! I couldn’t stand the smell, but I think it would taste ok”

“Sorry love, but you’re down wind from me and it’s going to get breezy”

“I think they’ve bled me dry, but if that handsome young doctor is doing the blood rounds, he can take some more! It’s been a while since I had a young man on his knees in front of me!”

“I don’t know whether this pie is sweet or savoury”


Being in hospital is tough, but you meet some of the most interesting people.  And many of those people are on medication.  It’s comedy gold!

Please share some of the funny stuff you have heard in your time on the wards!


Sam x

3 replies
  1. Josh
    Josh says:

    “If I don’t get clearance to land soon we’re going to be up here all night!” – 92 year old retired pilot (requested clearance from the nurses repeatedly).

    “Better get my suit on, I’m going to be late for the wedding!” – same guy, at 3am.

    “My daughter lives in Vancouver now, we went to visit her in the spring”.
    “That’s nice, what’s Vancouver like?”.
    “Well, it’s a bit like Crediton really”. – Crediton is a tiny market town near Exeter, I can’t think of any similarities to Vancouver. I suspect that his trip to Vancouver was the only time the guy had only left Crediton in his life!


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.