I know people have been wondering what has been going on with me for the past few days and I couldn’t say too much whilst the police were dealing with it all. But after a pretty useless and dismal response from the police I thought I may as well share.
On Friday night, I went out for a meal for a family members 18th birthday, it was a lovely night and at the end, the hosts asked if we were happy to split the bill per head, we were fine with that and paid. When all the money was gathered, there was a shortfall. My husband told the host that he would throw in some extra money.
They were bantering between them with the host refusing to take it and my husband insisting, all light hearted and a bit funny to see them throwing money back and forth.
Then another member of the party who was sat on a different table turned around and asked if there was a problem. Timm said no but she carried on saying she’d been listening to him slag her off for the past 10 minutes. We were very confused, I asked her what she thought she’d heard and she said “I’m not fucking talking to you”. This carried on for another 5 minutes with Timm trying to figure out what on Earth she was talking about.
She was extremely aggressive so I asked her husband what she thought Timm had said, again she turned to me and said “don’t fucking talk to him like I’m not here”. So I asked her what has he said? She replied that she couldn’t remember, but knew he was being funny with her.
I laughed and shook my head asking her why on Earth she was starting an argument that she had no idea what it was even about. Others on our table were trying to tell her that Timm hadn’t said anything about her.
She continued to scream in my face, she was stood up and I was sat at the table, she came right into my face and was pointing and shouting, so much so that her spit was landing on my face.
I thought she was going to attack me and so I stood up and pushed her away.
She then punched me in the face twice.
As restaurant staff took me into the kitchen to put ice on my face she stood in the middle of the restaurant screaming at me to come outside and “finish it”. I ignored her and the waitress told me she had drunk a lot of wine and was probably embarrassed for not wanting to share the bill.
My three kids were there, my youngest was hiding in his shirt terrified by this woman, he was hysterical at seeing me punched.
My middle child had a panic attack, they couldn’t breathe and were in a terrible state. I was just devastated, it was horrific.
On Saturday she sent a long rambling message where she said:
Just wanted to message to say Im sorry things escalated to what it did last night. I reacted to something in hindsight I should have just ignored but I felt strongly that we were being accused somewhat for not paying our bill right even if our opinions differ on that. My reactions to being pushed are uncontrollable as lashing out is a normal response from anyone having hands on them but I never meant to hurt you, I just can’t control reaction in a hostile environment. I do wish the whole situation didn’t happen in the first place. It was crazy and not an event I make a habit of being a part of. Neither of us need to be sorry for sticking up for ourselves or raising objection to what was said, that’s just normal when someone feels aggrieved but I wanted to let you know my thoughts on reflection. I never intended for the whole thing to happen, we actually spoke to each other at the start of the night which I appreciated as that hasn’t happened in a while. Please pass my thoughts onto Tim also. Hopefully we can put it all behind us as our paths will inevitably cross again in the future. X
I do not see this as an apology and found most worrying that she says she can’t control herself as she is a secondary school teacher!
I reported the incident to the police and they phoned me asking how I wanted to deal with it, I could go down the route of restorative justice where she would have to admit responsibility and that she was wrong and apologise to me, my husband and my kids. The second option was to press charges and go to court, he said if she was charged and found guilty she would lose her job.
As upset as I was, I don’t want to see someone end their career so I agreed to look at reparative justice and he said he would speak to her.
He came back saying that she says she’d gone straight to a solicitor and if I press charges then she will press charges on me as I pushed her first and so all her actions were self defence.
This is the restorative justice apology that I received.
I am sorry I punched you.
After crying at the sheer emotion placed in this heartfelt apology, I could only laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
I have a black eye, swollen cheek and bruised face, my kids are still in shock and are scared she is going to come back.
Yet if I press charges, I will end up as a suspect too.
You know what, I believe this person is a bully, she thought I was an easy target and that’s why she started on me, she knew I’d had multiple surgeries and am unwell and still chose to punch me twice and then try to continue it by asking me to go outside and fight her.
I think she is still trying to bully me now with that pathetic apology, she knows I’m too unwell to face a court case.
Im done in, this year has been a nightmare. Two surgeries, months of treatment, recovery and physio, at least one more operation is needed and I’m dealing with a large cyst on my ovary that needs examining for cancer after my tumour markers came back raised.
I’m sick and tired, the fatigue is smashing me at the minute, I take pain killers every single day, I’ve had to reduce my work hours because I can’t cope and spend most of my time in bed. I’ve had enough of everything. So to be punched and bullied by a school teacher is just too far, it’s just too much.
I’ve been in tears since I spoke to the police, it just doesn’t seem fair that someone can scream in your face, poking their finger at you in front of your kids and you have to just sit there, you can’t push them away without being accused of assault.
Ive has enough of everything. I spend my life trying to be good, to be positive, to help and support people and I am fed up of being shit on, of people treating me like crap, of my life being one trauma after another. I’ve had enough.
So there you go, that’s what is going on this week, I’ve had a lot of messages and so thought screw it, why not be honest and say what’s happened.
Everything is shit and I’m done in. I don’t know when I’ll blog or be on social media again, I’m just so jaded with the world right now and to be honest, I’ve got nothing positive to say.
Thank you for all the messages of love and support, it means a lot.