During my last stay in hospital, I heard some brilliantly weird lines and jotted them down on my phone… I just found them and thought I would share.

You hear some great things on the ward…

“Did you know that they mummified Princess Diana? Mummified or embalmed. Are they different?”

“Elvis is alive! They just found him dead in America!”

“I think I just turned the TV off with my mind.”

“Some people drink piss you know! I couldn’t stand the smell, but I think it would taste ok”

“Sorry love, but you’re down wind from me and it’s going to get breezy”

“I think they’ve bled me dry, but if that handsome young doctor is doing the blood rounds, he can take some more! It’s been a while since I had a young man on his knees in front of me!”

“I don’t know whether this pie is sweet or savoury”

Being in hospital is tough, but you meet some of the most interesting people.  And many of those people are on medication.  It’s comedy gold!

Please share some of the funny stuff you have heard in your time on the wards!

Sam x