What to do with a stoma blockage

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If you follow me on Facebook and twitter, you may have seen that I have had a blockage in my stomach for the past couple of days.  It started with crampy stomach ache and a realisation that my ileostomy bag had not been filling as it usually does, it was very empty and the stuff coming out was watery and dark.  I was sweating and nauseous and feeling terrible.

I have had this before and recognised the symptoms of a blockage (or bowel obstruction).  This is when something is preventing stool from passing through the intestine in the normal way.  IA Support uses an analogy of a garden hose to help explain what is happening when you have a bowel obstruction.

“If you stand on a garden hose, water cannot pass through it. The tap keeps pumping water into the hose but it cannot get past your shoe. Soon, as the pressure from the tap continues to pump the water, the portion of the hose above your shoe starts to expand and swell up with the backed up water. If you do not remove your shoe, the pressure inside the garden hose will cause it to break open and leak. The same principles apply to your intestine.”

stoma blockage how to relieve symptoms of bowel obstruction

Signs of a blockage can include

  • Swollen stoma
  • Distension of the abdomen
  • Minimal or no stoma output
  • Cramping and pain
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Muscle cramps
  • Dry mouth, decrease in urination

You can find out more on their site, I knew I didn’t have a full blockage as I was passing some stool but I mentioned it to my stoma nurse who reminded me of how to relieve symptoms at home and so I thought I would share them here. (Via IASupport)

DO

DON’T
  • Stop eating solid foods
  • Increase fluid intake (tea, cola)
  • If the stoma is swollen, remove thepouch and replace it with one with a larger stomal opening
  • Take a laxative or any other medication without consulting a doctor
  • Drink or eat anything if you are vomiting or not passing stool or both
  • Soak in a warm bath to relax the abdominal muscles
  • Massage your abdomen or try a knee-chest position
  • Call your doctor if the pain is severe, or you have symptoms of dehydration, even if the symptoms have not lasted 8 hours
  • Have someone drive you to the doctor or hospital
  • Insert anything inside the stoma unless you have been instructed to do so by your healthcare professional
  • Wait too long to call your doctor

A bowel obstruction or blockage is a serious condition and you should not ignore it as it can sometimes turn into an emergency situation.  Always get in touch with your stoma nurse if you can’t relieve the symptoms or if you are in a lot of pain, passing no stool at all and vomiting.

I am happy to say that my blockage passed at home with me using the above treatment, plenty of fluids, hot tea, heat pads, a bath and gentle tummy massage.  Though now I am left a bit exhausted and drained, I was wondering why but I think it may because I haven’t been absorbing all the vitamins and minerals over the past couple of days.

I know we all like to have a google but just remember that the internet is not the best place for medical advice, speak to your stoma nurse or doctor and listen to your body.

Sam xx

As a parent, can I just say, I have no clue what I’m doing…

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I have three kids aged 15, 13 and 11.  From the outside, I appear to have it all in hand.  My kids are polite, friendly and fun to be with.  I have managed to get to this point without losing them (apart from that one time on Blackpool Pier), killing them in a stupidity accident or them hating me.  I also write about life as a parent, apparently giving the public the illusion that I know what the fuck I am doing.

Therefore I get comments and messages from people who seem to think I am the Baby Whisperer crossed with Mary Poppins.  That I have some magical gift or that I know the mythical answer to parenting.  This post is to let you in on a secret.  I have no clue what I am doing!

None of us do! Every day is a learning experience, I am just figuring it out day by day.  This means sometimes I fluke it out and things go well, but other times, it all goes horribly wrong and I am left sat in a war zone wondering how much flights to the Maldives cost.

 

children parenting blog sam cleasby sheffield

 

Parenting is bloody hard work.  From the sleepless nights of newborns, through teething and weaning, onto the stage when they can move themselves about and suddenly every nice thing in your home goes up onto a higher level.  Toddler tantrums as they discover their own voice through to starting school and suddenly having a different authority figure in their lives.  Tween dramas give way to teen dramas and suddenly the issues become more expensive and more dangerous… It is scary stuff being responsible for another human being and all any of are trying to do is not fuck them up too badly.

The only way to get through is to have other honest parents to talk to, and honest is the key word here.  Don’t read social media posts of the perfect mums who have made an organic breakfast, are beautifully dressed and made up, whose children are little angels who say ‘thank you mummy’ as she passes them their mung bean and papaya oatmeal and then trot out to school so mum can start her day as a high flying business woman who has it all…

Seriously, ignore that shit.

Honest parents are the best.  They will tell you about the time they saw the bin van coming as they had just finished breastfeeding and went to run to put the bins out and stood in a shitty nappy, skidding across the floor and then meeting the bin man with shit up their leg and one breast hanging out of their top.

They will tell you about the times when they lost their temper and shouted at their kids and then truly regretted it and cried outside on the doorstep until said child came and said ‘don’t cry mummy’.

They will tell you that sometimes they think their kids are dickheads and they occasionally daydream of running away from home.

They will tell you that random freezer dinners of one fishfinger, 2 mini sausage rolls, a pizza finger and some beans is totally acceptable if you stick a piece of cucumber on the side.

They will tell you that their heart aches when they try and deal with teenagers who are so angst filled and bubbling with hormones that you feel like different species.  That when their kids make idiotic choices and take dangerous paths that they just wish they were toddlers again so that the parents could cuddle them and watch Finding Nemo in bed and keep them safe.

They will tell you that parenting is all practicing, that they don’t have the answers and that it is hard work.

(All of these have happened to me…)

 

sam cleasby sheffield parenting blogger

 

Honest parents are vital.  Because when they’ve been honest about all the challenging parts of being a parent, you want to celebrate with them all the amazing parts.  Because though I sound down on being a parent here, I’m really not.  I love being a mum, it is literally the best thing I have ever done.

From the moment my first son was put in my arms, I felt purpose.  I knew that my life had changed forever and that I would spend the rest of it protecting and loving this bundle of joy.  I remember crying about the miracle of babies, how a little part of me and a little part of my partner had made an actual human being! Though that might have been the drugs…

Seeing your child grow and change is just magical, from the baby days where they are physically changing before your eyes every single day through to teens where you can see them maturing into wonderful young adults, the process is just beautiful.

The pride as you see them learn is wonderful, teaching them about the world around them and filling their minds with information and seeing them achieve is awesome.  I feel a great privilege to be mum to my bambinos, and they are growing up so quickly, I feel like I am grasping onto the last moments of childhood, especially with my eldest.  This week he came and laid on the sofa with me, head rested on my shoulder and watched TV.  I wanted to hug him and squeeze him but instead, I nonchalantly stayed put, slowly creeping my arm over to rest on his shoulder and quietly enjoyed the moment like he was a butterfly who would flit off at any moment.

I adore being a mum, my kids mean everything to me and I wouldn’t give this life up for the world.  I am so proud of them all, the three of them are all completely different with different personalities, goals and desires, but they are all just the best.  I can love them but still freely admit that I don’t have a clue what I am doing.

People ask me for parenting advice often, I don’t feel I can give it as all kids and families are so different.  But if I am pushed, I say this:

  • No child ever went bad from being loved too much.  Tell them you love them. Often. Seriously every day.  Yep, especially when you are arguing.
  • If you fuck up, admit it and say sorry.  You are teaching them that even their Mighty Grand High Parent sometimes gets it wrong and thats ok.
  • Fill your home and your life with interesting things, people and experiences.  Kids are little sponges of curiosity, teach them everything, give them culture, show them the world around them.
  • Don’t go it alone, speak to other (HONEST) parents.  This shit is hard work, it is not failing to ask for help.
  • Boost their self-esteem.  Be genuine and when they are awesome, tell them.
  • Give them the gift of art.  Encourage their creativity and celebrate art and music.  Whether it is cartoons or the Mona Lisa, finger painting or building cardboard dens.  Art is vital for kids, I honestly believe this and I think it helps them with pretty much every part of their lives.
  • Be interested in their lives, there will come a day when they won’t want to share everything with you and you will miss it.
  • Be honest with them.  Be open and true and tell the truth about life, even if it is difficult.
  • Enjoy them.  They grow up so quickly.  Someone once told me “you never know when it will be your last”, the last time they kiss you in front of their pals, the last time they’ll sit on your knee, the last time they will sleep in your bed… Cherish every moment.
  • Take them outdoors.  Mud pies, woodland walks, playing with sticks, building dens, laying in the sun, making daisy chains, playing games.  These things really matter.  Trust me.
  • Be grateful.  You have children when there are so many people in this world can’t.  Don’t take them for granted, love them, revel in them and celebrate them.

 

Sam xx

 

Quentin Letts and his mockery of disability

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Quentin Letts wrote in his Daily Mail column this week about a ‘talkshow war’ between Andrew Marr and Robert Peston.  Andrew Marr had a stroke a year ago and Letts decided to name him “Captain Hop-Along” because apparently journalism now consists of reverting to a 10 year old school yard bully.  Mocking disability is NOT OK… how ridiculous that in 2016 we even have to say that.

The whole piece is filled with jibes over the presenters looks, age and ability, I felt as though I was reading something by Katie Hopkins.  Or the mean bully I knew as a child.

“Sunday mornings just became a little madder and more metropolitan… we have Andrew ‘Captain Hop-Along’ Marr growling away on BBC1, throwing his arm about like a tipsy conductor.”

Speaking of his stroke to the BBC, Marr said “had affected “the whole left hand side of my body, which is why I’m still not able to walk fluently.  I do a kind of elegant hobble is the best I can manage – my left arm isn’t much good yet and I’ve got a lot of physio still to do”

Why do we still allow the discrimination of disability in mainstream media?  I know a few people who have had strokes whose lives have been turned upside down, they have a tough recovery and have to fight to regain their lives, which many do.

Marr (whether you like him or not) is an inspiration to the 110,000 people who have a stroke per year in the UK.  Returning to work and carrying on his on-screen performances was an important step for those with a disability who want to lead normal lives.  Whether we like it or not, disability is a stigma and Marr is doing a great service to many.

sam cleasby sheffield blogger disability

The Stroke Association says “All strokes are different. For some people the effects may be relatively minor and may not last long. Others may be left with more serious problems that make them dependent on other people.

Unfortunately not everyone survives – around one in eight people die within 30 days of having a stroke. That’s why it’s so important to be able to recognise the symptoms and get medical help as quickly as possible.  The quicker you receive treatment, the better your chances for a good recovery.”

It’s not funny and it’s not ok.  Mocking his speech and movement is a sign of ignorance, stupidity and generally of being an arsehole.  Quentin Letts should be ashamed of himself, even children understand that laughing at a person’s disability is morally wrong.  We can throw words around like free speech, and I stand for that notion wholeheartedly, but just because you CAN say something mean doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

I think Letts should apologise, not only to Andrew Marr, but to the community of people who have had a stroke, who do not need to be called names and mocked but celebrated and supported.

 

Sam xx

Getting back to what you love – reconnecting with nature

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One of my fondest memories as a child is of my nannan’s garden. She grew flowers and plants that were beautiful, but also fruit and veg, I remember eating strawberries with her straight from the ground, our fingers and lips sticky and red with the juice.  My nannan’s garden and home was a place of love and joy, a time spent with all my cousins playing and having fun.  Even now, at almost 91, nan lives in the same house, and her garden is still filled with blooms.  I visit her every week and last week, she was saying how much she wishes she still had the energy to grow her own vegetables, but she is happy just being able to potter and look out on her plot.


When my kids were very small, we moved house to a new area that was much more rural and in our little garden, I started planting fruit and vegetables for us to eat. I had little idea what I was doing but grew easy plants such as tomatoes, peas and herbs. I loved being in the garden and really enjoyed seeing the kids eat straight from the veg patch as I had so many years before.

I love seeing them out in nature, getting dirty and having fun, the veg and plants are my joy, but for them it is just about playing and being outdoors, from mud pies to dens.  It was much easier when they were small to get them outside, now at 15, 13 and 11, it takes a little more persuasion, but once they are out, they get right back into it.

allotment sam cleasby sheffield gardening disability

Since those early days, I have slowly learnt more and more and grown more each year. I’m no expert and still rely heavily on gardening books and the Internet, but I feel so happy in the garden and so I just go with a trial and error tactic. The past 3 years have been tough with me not being physically strong enough to grow anything. I felt that planting things would end up as more work for Timm if I fell ill.

In January this year, I had another big surgery. I had my failing Jpouch removed, a permanent stoma formed and my butt removed.  The recovery was so hard and I couldn’t even bathe myself, I was bed bound and felt so weak.

We were in the middle of buying a house at the time that has an allotment in the garden. A dream come true but during my recovery, it became a source of immense anxiety.  I couldn’t imagine being strong enough to do the basics, let alone to plant and maintain a full allotment!

allotment sam cleasby sheffield gardening disability
It just seemed so unobtainable. I was so physically weak, just walking to the bathroom left me out of breath.  I was in so much pain and I felt helpless, useless and hopeless.

People told me to take one day at a time, to remember that my body was healing but that I would be stronger very soon.  I couldn’t imagine it. I could barely turn over in bed, how would I turn over an allotment’s worth of soil in the vegetable beds?

But I’m so pleased to say that here I am! My allotment is well on the way, with a lot of help from Timm with the heavier work and lots of time of seated planting and gentle, slow work, the garden is looking amazing!

allotment sam cleasby sheffield gardening disability

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far and we had a day in the lotty, it was so hot that I was in shorts and a bikini top. It’s quite private so I wasn’t worried about being overlooked, but as I worked away, I looked down at my bag and it made me realise just how far I have come.

allotment sam cleasby sheffield gardening disability
I am certainly not at full strength, my recovery is still continuing and I am still having some pains and niggles. I am being careful, I don’t push myself too hard and I listen to my body. But I am here doing it! It feels amazing and it makes me celebrate how far I have come.

allotment sam cleasby sheffield gardening disability

Four months ago, I was bed bound and could do nothing for myself, today I am up and about, getting stronger each day and making sure that I am doing the things that make me happy.

I’m being careful but I’m dog walking, I’m gardening, I’m spending more time outside in the fresh air and this is helping not only my physical health, but my mental and emotional health too.

allotment sam cleasby sheffield gardening disability

If you are struggling right now with poor health, just remember that things won’t always be so tough.  We have bad days, bad weeks, bad months even, but on the good days, we need to think about what will make us really happy and aim for that.

I’m a big believer that the outdoors is good for us, we need to try and get out every day.  Be it for 5 minutes sitting with the sun on your face or a walk or run.  It helps a lot when the weather is good, but being in the outdoors, especially woodland and countryside can really lift the mood.

I was reminded of the importance of this, this week, when I felt as though I had lost my kids to their computers and so we switched everything off and spent a day in the allotment.  At first they were grumpy, but very quickly, they started helping out, playing, building dens and more importantly, talking and laughing.  We are all so reliant on computers and phones, sometimes you just need to disconnect and reconnect with nature and family.

I know that can be easier said than done but today, if possible, turn off your computer, go outside and get back to something you love.

Sam xx

Please don’t stop inviting me

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When you have a chronic illness, one of the things that cause guilt and stress is letting people down, I hate that I am sometimes so slack and have to say no to plans, often at the last minute.  To anyone I let down, I am sorry.

But please don’t stop inviting me…

I know it is frustrating when I call (or more likely do the cowardly text) at the last minute, I am sure you look down at your phone and roll your eyes and think ‘here we go again!’ I am sorry that I cancel on our plans, but I swear, in the cheesiest of lines, it’s not you, it’s me.

Whether it is last minute pain, fatigue or anxiety, whether it is physical or mental, I know that it can seem to you that I must not care.  I know that you may analyse my excuse and logically come up with an outcome where I could make it if I really wanted to.   I know that it makes you sad, or angry, or fed up.

But please don’t stop inviting me.

sam cleasby so bad ass IBD blogger and writer

I know you have been there for me and come to my events, my parties, my coffee breaks.  You make the effort to visit me and be an amazing friend.  You put yourself out and very rarely cancel and it must be so frustrating to have a friend who doesn’t return the favour.

It must be quite difficult having me as a friend, I don’t have a normal level of consistency in my life, it is one thing or another with my health and if it isn’t a physical thing, years of living with these issues have made me mad as a bag of frogs.

But please don’t stop inviting me.

I am sorry for that time I missed your child’s birthday party, I am sorry I didn’t come on your planned trek to the countryside, I am sorry I bailed on your last party, I am sorry I cancelled our brunch date, I apologise for saying I would definitely come to that yoga class with you then abandoning you to do it alone.

I feel terrible that I didn’t call you more regularly when my problems seem to fill my whole head space, it makes me sad to know that I am not the best friend in the world, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.

But please don’t stop inviting me.

I know I am sometimes slack and I cancel on you.  This illness of mine sometimes makes me selfish and clouds out everything else, but know this.  I may not be present, but you are always in my thoughts, I might miss your event but I love you dearly, I bailed on your party but I am loyal, caring and my friends mean everything to me.

Even when I don’t make it to your events, please know how much it means to be invited.  Your offers mean everything even if I know I can’t make it.  Thank you for making me feel normal, for not being put off by my illness, my cancelations, my issues.

Please don’t stop inviting me.

sam cleasby so bad ass IBD blogger and writer

It takes a very special person to be friends with someone with a chronic, life long illness.  You lose friends and family members along the way when you are ill, it is a time where you find out who is really there for you.  Some people can’t hack it, they walk away and don’t want to be part of your life because it isn’t all sweetness and light.  These fair-weather friends are only there for the good times, when the shit hits the bedpan, they are out of here!!!

But the people who stay are true gems, and I appreciate the friends and family who have stuck by my side throughout the terrible lows and been there to cheer for the amazing highs.

Thank you to my amazing friends.

Thank you for never stopping inviting me.

 

Sam xxx