Tag Archive for: Bikini

World Ostomy Day!

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Happy World Ostomy Day!

My ostomy journey began in September 2013 and it really has been a journey, there have been times where I hated it, when I cried and despised the thing. But most of the time, I have felt relief, relief that this ostomy of mine saved my life, that it gave me back freedom, gave me a life, allowed me to travel the world and play with my children. My ostomy allowed me to become a better wife, mother, friend.

For the 9 years before that since I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (though to be honest, I truly believe that I have had UC from being a very young child) I lived a life in the bathroom. During flare ups, I would go to the toilet 20-30 times a day, I would poo myself regularly and be in agony feeling like barbed wire was being pulled through my guts. So when I finally had my large bowel removed and my ileostomy formed, I was happy and relieved.

Yes, it has caused me lots of other issues, and sometimes it is hard to live with. I sometimes leak, I have had multiple hernias, had to have abdominal reconstruction, there have been so many side effects to the many major surgeries I have had. But my ostomy has saved my life and I am grateful.

So on World Ostomy Day, I thought today I would share a collection of photos of me from over the past 11 years.

Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is laid on a sun lounger in a bikini and has an ileostomy bag on her stomach, she is smiling and relaxed
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, this is a black and white image of a woman with an ostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is standing outside by a stone wall in front of a field with a horse in to and wears a vest, skirt and cardigan, she is pulling up the vest to show an ostomy bag
A woman showing a stoma
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is floating in a swimming pool and looks relaxed, she is wearing a bikini and has an ileostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is posing on a chaise longue with a cup of tea in underwear and has an ostomy bag, the vibe is very 50s pin up girl
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is taking a mirror selfie in her underwear in a bathroom with make up pots and brushes around the sink, she has a big smile and is pointing at her ostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is jumping like a star fish into a swimming pool wearing a bikini and has an ostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is wearing a red and pink ethnic scarf around her like a dress and has her ostomy bag on show
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she has bright pink hair and is wearing an orange yellow and green Lucy and yak boiler suit, you can see her bra and her ostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is smiling on a beach holding a big sun hat on to stop it flying away, she wears a bikini and has an ostomy bag and hairy armpits
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she has bright pink hair and is on a boat in Lanzarote, she is wearing shorts, bikini top and a floaty cardigan and you can see her stomach is scarred and has an ostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is standing proudly on a beach in Croatia wearing a leopard print bikini, she has lots of scars on her stomach and a Coloplast ostomy bag
a montage of two photos, in the first Sam Cleasby, a woman of British and Indian descent, lies in intensive care, she is covered in tubes and machines and looks very unwell. The second image shows her laying in a similar position, but she is floating in a pool wearing a bikini and looking very relaxed and calm, she has an ostomy bag
Sam Cleasby is a woman of British and Indian descent, she is posing like a 50s pin up in underwear showing her ostomy bag

Peace and loce

Sam xx

What NOT to wear this summer if you are fat

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The summer months are upon us and magazines and websites are flooded with articles of what to wear and what not to wear.  For the larger ladies, it is apparently a minefield of finding ‘flattering’ clothes and how to cover up.

I’m a size 16 and love fashion, so here is my guide of what not to wear this summer if you are fat.

1. Shame

Fuck the shame, that’s the last thing you should wear.  Your size doesn’t define you and shouldn’t bring feelings of shame.  Shame suggests that you should feel bad about your body.  Your body is wonderful, it is the only one you get and you should celebrate the one you are in.

how to wear a bikini body confidence so bad ass

2. Fear

The worry and fear that others will judge you.  You know what? Some people are dicks and might judge your shape, but those people are horrid and if you were a size 10, they would find something to pick at you about.

sam cleasby stoma ileostomy photo shoot woman beauty

3. Hate

“I hate my bum” “I hate my belly” “I hate my arms”

How many times have you said that about yourself? Stop with the hate, if you allow yourself to say that, then you are open to allowing others to say it.  You are teaching your children that it’s ok to say you hate yourself, you are teaching yourself that you are not worthy of love.

Yes, we all may have parts of our bodies that aren’t our favourite but don’t tell yourself you hate your body, because you are listening…

The naked podcast Sam cleaaby

What you should wear…

Anything you feel amazing in!

Don’t allow society to choose your style, wear what makes you happy.  If you love a bikini, wear it!  I’m covered in scars, stretch marks and have an ostomy bag, I am far from the fashion magazine ideal of beach beauty, but I like an all over tan and hate being too hot and so I rock a bikini!

If you don’t love a bikini, then wear what makes you comfortable and happy.  Covering up doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself, being proud of your body doesn’t mean you have to bare all.  Just wear what you love, what makes you feel like a QUEEN!

A nurse is hospital jokingly said to me after my last op that my bikini wearing days were over, and you know what I felt sorry for her! Sorry that she couldn’t imagine how someone like me would feel comfortable wearing a bikini on the beach. NEWSFLASH! I don’t wear a bikini to look good for anyone else! I wear them because I don’t like being too hot, I like an all over tan and I love how I look and feel in one, screw everyone else!!

In this heatwave at the minute, I hope you all can have the confidence to wear whatever you want and I hope you feel amazing.

 

✌?& ❤

Sam xx