The kids and I went to see Sam tonight and she’s doing ok. The sickness is easing but she’s in a fair bit of pain. They have set up a good pain management plan but if she leaves it a bit too long then it’s sore for a few hours, especially her bum…
To be honest there’s not much else to say really, the surgeon has been again and is very happy, he says everything is perfect really so it’s just a case of letting nature run it’s course on the recovery side.
The good news today is that IF and it’s a big IF… If she keeps improving at the same rate then Mr Brown is happy to remove the bum tube on Friday and IF she can then poo… she can come home… YAY!!! We all can’t wait to have her home…
This brings me round to the real theme of todays post.
I miss Sam… I miss her a lot and I know she misses me just as much. Todays visit was a more about the kids than me, it was about them seeing mum and knowing she’s ok and that she misses and loves them loads.
It leaves little time for me and Sam to have anything other than how you doing? Do you need anything etc… and the fact is I miss my wife. I miss hanging out with her, I miss laughing with her, I miss her sarcasm and wit, I miss her cuddles and kisses and I know she misses all these things and more too.
I know that it’s important that she’s in hospital and I know that it’s important for me to be here for the kids / business / house / etc… but I feel like I’m in suspension, a bit numb, like everything is on hold, like I’m managing just to do everything before it’s time to pass out and start all again tomorrow…
Sam’s blog started as a way of her expressing how she’s been feeling whilst she has struggled with her disease and surgery and I thought that it seemed fitting that this side of things be put across too. I’m not complaining or moaning or saying poor me… I guess I’m just expressing the helplessness and loneliness we both feel as the recovery progresses.
So it’s almost time to pass out once again ready to do it all again tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll feel less tired and mardy by then.