So the big day is tomorrow! I am in at 7am for surgery on my incisional hernia with an overnight stay. I started 2015 with two wishes, I didn’t want to have an operation or move house this year. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be…
My hernia is very small and usually quite flat but when I exert myself, it pops out and is sickeningly painful and so it is stopping me from exercising and doing the things I want to do. I have such a busy year with work and I need to be in good physical condition to manage it all. Hernias only get worse with time, they won’t improve without surgery and so I know that this surgery is the right thing to do.
But I am nervous as hell. A few people have said that “it’s only a small surgery” and that “it’s nothing compared to the last two”, they are right and I know they are only trying to set my mind at ease but I really am terrified and feeling anxious and sad about this operation.
The thought of having another general anaesthetic is scaring me, I know they do it all the time but the risks are there. I’m frightened at the thought of just not waking up. I’m also scared of there being complications with the operation, but I have Mr Brown operating which definitely puts my mind at ease though I’m still nervy and shaky.
I am extremely anxious and feeling weepy and sad but I am going to pull on my big girl pants and I’ll be ok. The kids are worried as they always are if I have to go into hospital but Timm is going to bring them to visit tomorrow.
Our amazing friends Caroline and Jamie are having the kids tonight so we don’t have to rush with them in the morning and they are looking after them tomorrow so Timm can stay with me. We’re so lucky to have such fantastic friends who are always there for us and offer to have the children whenever we are in need. I can’t thank them enough and love them very very much.
So I’m off now as I think I’m chuntering on…
Thanks for all the lovely good luck messages as well as the cards and flowers.