World IBD Day 2021 – I am not broken
It is World IBD Day today and to celebrate this day, I thought I would write a little about the journey I am on and have been on for so long. After multiple surgeries and when my body is scarred, in pain and struggling, it is easy to feel broken. But I am not broken. I am a survivor.
I am at art college in Sheffield and my practice this year has all been around trauma, especially the medical trauma I have faced. I decided to do a photography project with myself in the frame. I wanted to show a body that may be in the middle of trauma but is also healing, both physically and emotionally.
Wrapped in medical tubing, naked and baring my soul, I am defiant, I am fighting, I am a survivor. There are times when I feel so weak and afraid of everything, but this is my anger, my strength, my fight. My stoma and my scars are the war wounds of my life and I will wear them with pride, they are a visual reminder of the battles I have faced and won. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like a win, but I am still here and every survival is a celebration of life.
My body has changed so much over the years, I am currently the heaviest I have ever been, I have hernias that jut from my belly like melons, I am covered in scars and take so much medication every single day. It wasn’t easy to shoot this, to shed my defence layer of clothes and sit naked and vulnerable. But I am so glad I did, I feel empowered and beautiful.
Today isn’t an easy day, I am in pain and the meds have kicked in meaning my head is fuzzy and my words may be a little jumbled, but I am here.
I am not broken.
I am a survivor.
Happy World IBD Day,
Peace and love
Sam xx
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