Let the haters hate

I get so many wonderful messages, emails, tweets and Facebook messages – every one means so much. I write this blog as a means of therapy for myself but when I get messages saying that it is helping others it just makes me feel so amazing.  It’s not been an easy ride and writing So Bad Ass reminds me daily of the importance of staying positive, of sharing my stories to raise awareness, talk honestly about my illness and stop poo being a taboo.

I love hearing other peoples stories and it makes my pain, hardships and the general shit I have to deal with from my illness, ileostomy and surgery kind of worth while. Like it has a meaning, you know?

So it was tough to read a recent message where the author wanted to let me know that I’m really not all that and to question who I thought I was.  There was mention of my weight, that I should know Im hardly a model (No shit Sherlock!)  This person believed that what I was talking about was gross and that no one wanted to read that shit.   (My 30,000 + views in the last six months beg to differ)

let the haters hate

For a second, I felt sick. I read and re-read the message feeling gutted. I couldn’t believe someone was being mean to me, I’m generally a kind person, what had I done to make this happen? Then I pulled on my big girl pants, shook my head, deleted the message and went back to my fairly awesome life! (The best revenge for haters is to just be FABULOUS!)

It’s easy to feel hurt by mean words but you know, haters are gonna hate, man. A valid argument, a debate, I thrive on those things but a little person sat behind their computer screen taking their time to write something spiteful? Nah, I’m alright for that.

The fact is that I put myself out there,I write openly about my life, speaking about things we don’t usually discuss, I dare to show photographs of myself with my unperfect body that has (gasp!) wobbly bits and (shock horror!!) scars…  I show confidence despite all this because Im a fucking warrior.  I guarantee that there is little anyone can throw at me that is tougher than having a chronic illness for ten years, surgery and living with an ileostomy.

ibd warrior inner strength confidence ostomy ileostomy bag

I debated whether to post about this, whether or not to give this bully airspace but I thought it was important to say that there will always be someone who dislikes you, especially if you put yourself out onto the internet to be judged, but those people are the sad ones, the folk who have so little else that they feel the need to put others down.

Let the haters hate and move forward with life with a smile…

And if all else fails, just pretend you are Beyonce.

beyonce single ladies

Love Sam xx

0 replies
  1. Nickie
    Nickie says:

    I personally may have printed an excerpt from the message and let your readers and supporters have their say but you’re right to deal with it and move on. One negative message in the hundreds that you’ve already received just goes to show that this is a minority opinion. What surprises me more is that they were “impassioned” enough to put finger to keyboard and bash one out (so to speak). You obviously have had an impact on them.

    Reply
  2. Nickie
    Nickie says:

    I personally may have printed an excerpt from the message and let your readers and supporters have their say but you’re right to deal with it and move on. One negative message in the hundreds that you’ve already received just goes to show that this is a minority opinion. What surprises me more is that they were “impassioned” enough to put finger to keyboard and bash one out (so to speak). You obviously have had an impact on them.

    Reply
  3. Timm Cleasby
    Timm Cleasby says:

    Please note that this person failed to identify themselves… you hide son (I’m assuming you’re a male… I won’t say man as a man would have the balls to stand behind his views) because my wife is hard… and she’d kick you’re ass. Dick

    Reply
  4. Timm Cleasby
    Timm Cleasby says:

    Please note that this person failed to identify themselves… you hide son (I’m assuming you’re a male… I won’t say man as a man would have the balls to stand behind his views) because my wife is hard… and she’d kick you’re ass. Dick

    Reply
  5. dansumption
    dansumption says:

    These things happen and it’s hard not to let it get to you, but you’ve done the right thing. I’m convinced that in 99.9% of these cases the abuser is just somebody trying to get a rise, very often a teenager trying to make themself feel important by proving they have the power to disrupt somebody’s life. It’s absolutely no reflection on you, and like you say the best response is to carry on being FABULOUS, maybe take a moment to reflect upon the sadness of a lifeform which can only validate itself by mocking other people, and then move on.

    Reply
    • sam
      sam says:

      Thanks Dan, for a second it took me back to feeling like a bullied kid with no confidence… Then I stopped myself and thought pretty much all the things you have said in your comment. They call themselves keyboard warriors I believe, the truth is they know nothing about being a warrior.

      Love and kindness is ALWAYS the way x

      Reply
  6. dansumption
    dansumption says:

    These things happen and it’s hard not to let it get to you, but you’ve done the right thing. I’m convinced that in 99.9% of these cases the abuser is just somebody trying to get a rise, very often a teenager trying to make themself feel important by proving they have the power to disrupt somebody’s life. It’s absolutely no reflection on you, and like you say the best response is to carry on being FABULOUS, maybe take a moment to reflect upon the sadness of a lifeform which can only validate itself by mocking other people, and then move on.

    Reply
    • sam
      sam says:

      Thanks Dan, for a second it took me back to feeling like a bullied kid with no confidence… Then I stopped myself and thought pretty much all the things you have said in your comment. They call themselves keyboard warriors I believe, the truth is they know nothing about being a warrior.

      Love and kindness is ALWAYS the way x

      Reply
  7. Kate Tolson
    Kate Tolson says:

    Hi Sam, it sounds trite but what this troll has done in their attempt to hurt you, reflects more on them than anything. People who have empty, negative and bitter lives sometimes feel compelled to spread the vitriol. They are to be pitied as no-one in their right mind would do such a thing if they were in a good and happy place themselves. You are right to rise above it and move on.
    Can I say also that I am massively impressed with this blog. It is right and good to talk about your life experiences when it can help others in the same situation, life is rarely straight-forward for anyone and if you can spread the love and positivity to others around you – alls the better. Keep on keeping on 🙂
    (and give Timm a hug, he’s obviously fiercely protective and proud of you)
    xx

    Reply
  8. Kate Tolson
    Kate Tolson says:

    Hi Sam, it sounds trite but what this troll has done in their attempt to hurt you, reflects more on them than anything. People who have empty, negative and bitter lives sometimes feel compelled to spread the vitriol. They are to be pitied as no-one in their right mind would do such a thing if they were in a good and happy place themselves. You are right to rise above it and move on.
    Can I say also that I am massively impressed with this blog. It is right and good to talk about your life experiences when it can help others in the same situation, life is rarely straight-forward for anyone and if you can spread the love and positivity to others around you – alls the better. Keep on keeping on 🙂
    (and give Timm a hug, he’s obviously fiercely protective and proud of you)
    xx

    Reply
  9. Lydia
    Lydia says:

    Whoever this person is sounds like an absolute pathetic idiot to me !! Attacking someone who has been so sick and been through so much is discusting !
    Your blog has helped me more than you will ever know to get through an awful time in my life. I would lay awake a 3am in hospital just reading and reading thinking I’m not alone I’m not a freak and I can do this. That’s all thanks to you. I’m sure you have helped many other people too so don’t let it put you off (I know it won’t your made of stronger stuff)
    Hopefully who ever is doing this reads these messages and realises they are absolutely in the minority.
    Take care and keep strong xxxxx

    Reply
  10. Lydia
    Lydia says:

    Whoever this person is sounds like an absolute pathetic idiot to me !! Attacking someone who has been so sick and been through so much is discusting !
    Your blog has helped me more than you will ever know to get through an awful time in my life. I would lay awake a 3am in hospital just reading and reading thinking I’m not alone I’m not a freak and I can do this. That’s all thanks to you. I’m sure you have helped many other people too so don’t let it put you off (I know it won’t your made of stronger stuff)
    Hopefully who ever is doing this reads these messages and realises they are absolutely in the minority.
    Take care and keep strong xxxxx

    Reply
  11. Nicola Goodlad
    Nicola Goodlad says:

    You did the right thing Sam -delete it, forget it and carry on blogging! You are helping a lot of people feel better about their lives and we all love reading your stories!
    Hope the wedding plans are going ok
    X

    Reply
  12. Nicola Goodlad
    Nicola Goodlad says:

    You did the right thing Sam -delete it, forget it and carry on blogging! You are helping a lot of people feel better about their lives and we all love reading your stories!
    Hope the wedding plans are going ok
    X

    Reply
  13. Jo Hudson
    Jo Hudson says:

    It is one of the downsides to the internet that nasty folk can so easily contact and bully decent people. They are weak cowards hiding behind their computers. Fortunately in this case they have tried to hurt a very strong woman who will not let it get them down, but they can cause a lot of damage to people who are not as strong. There needs to be tougher measures in place so that these “trolls” are dealt with in the appropriate way. Freedom of speech is great, but you still must take responsibility for what you say. Well done Sam, you are doing an awesome job babe. xxxx

    Reply
  14. Jo Hudson
    Jo Hudson says:

    It is one of the downsides to the internet that nasty folk can so easily contact and bully decent people. They are weak cowards hiding behind their computers. Fortunately in this case they have tried to hurt a very strong woman who will not let it get them down, but they can cause a lot of damage to people who are not as strong. There needs to be tougher measures in place so that these “trolls” are dealt with in the appropriate way. Freedom of speech is great, but you still must take responsibility for what you say. Well done Sam, you are doing an awesome job babe. xxxx

    Reply
  15. Becca Niemann
    Becca Niemann says:

    You are amazing. I am a 3 year rectal cancer survivor. I have had my ileostomy since then. I was so ill with ulcerative colitis for almost 20 years. Had I done my research, I would have had my ileostomy long before I got cancer. I too, have a Barbie butt. You inspire me everyday. Ignore that .00001% of hurtful people. We love following your very real world that others live everyday. You go girl! xoxo

    Reply
  16. Becca Niemann
    Becca Niemann says:

    You are amazing. I am a 3 year rectal cancer survivor. I have had my ileostomy since then. I was so ill with ulcerative colitis for almost 20 years. Had I done my research, I would have had my ileostomy long before I got cancer. I too, have a Barbie butt. You inspire me everyday. Ignore that .00001% of hurtful people. We love following your very real world that others live everyday. You go girl! xoxo

    Reply

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