Tomorrow my eldest son becomes a teenager!!! Surely I’m not old enough for this? I still feel like a teen myself never mind mother of a teen!
So today we needed to go shopping for his birthday presents, everything is last minute because of the manic last three weeks. Timm was happy to go alone to get everything but as I’m feeling stronger each day I thought today could be the day to get out of the house!
It felt so good to dry and straighten my hair for the first time in three weeks. I had it cut by a lovely local mobile hairdresser last night so I immediately felt better. My hair has been scraped up in a bun and gripped back for weeks, totally neglected and due to meds and surgery was feeling dry, brittle and was snapping off on the ends.
I put on some make up and then faced my wardrobe…
I’ve been worrying quite a bit about clothes. I’m just not sure what to wear, trousers need to go under or allllll the way over my stoma and bag. Underneath is fine but then tops need to be long enough to cover the bag. Tight tops like vests would be perfect but they all seem a little short. Long tops or dresses cover the bag but then I feel like its kind of swinging freely which doesn’t fill me with confidence.
My mum suggested getting some if those over the bump maternity trousers. At first the thought of having to wear maternity clothes depressed the life out of me. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.
So today I wore I pair of high waisted, wide legged trousers. They were just the right height on my waist and kept everything tucked tight against my stomach. And a black vest with a stripy cardi. It felt great to be back in ‘real’ clothes. I felt more like myself today.
Ileostomy bag wise – I’m currently using a two piece system. I chose the midi bag today over the maxi that I’ve been wearing since the op. I do have some mini but I worried about how often I’d have to empty that so went down the middle. If anyone has questions about the bags, please feel free to ask. Ill do a post about them soon.
So off to Meadowhall we went!
I was really nervous, I was worried my bag would leak and generally just worried about being out in public! I worried Id be knocked into or maybe I’d fall. It’s an odd sensation to be out somewhere so busy after spending so much time in hospital or at home. Timm was with me and made sure I took it slowly and best of all, he carried all the bags!!
I took a spare kit with everything Id need to change the whole bag plus a set of clothes just in case. It made me realise that I would feel a lot more confident if I knew I could use the disabled loos. Partly for the space and partly as they have a basin in the cubicle so if there were any issues I could deal with it all in private. Definitely need to get one of the disabled loo keys…
We went for lunch at Eds American Diner, the food was great and if you go to their site and sign up to their club, you can get a free burger and then we got Charlie’s birthday pressies.
We then went to H&M where I bought two pairs of maternity jeans. They are perfect!! The waist band sits on my hips under the stoma but the elasticated top goes over the stoma and bag holding it close against my body. I’m not necessarily trying to hide the bag but trying to make it both comfortable and allow myself to feel confident. When it’s held against my body it feels safe. When it feels safe, I feel a lot more confident!!
Also got a new pair of boots because… well I think I deserve them!
All in all its been a great day with a big move forward. Im tired out tonight but it was all worth it.
Love Sam xx